Professional Amateurs
by Some1Else
Summary: The challenge? Write a fan fic. The prize? A very rare set of figurines and some cash. Konata joins muses with Kagami in an effort to win the competition, but styles clash as they try to produce something readable before the deadline.
1. Rough Draft

**Note : **It has been established that Lucky Star takes place in 2007. In this story, it occurs in 2011 to allow for commentary on more current otaku trends. The relaunch date of a certain manga has been modified. These are very minor chronological edits that shouldn't detract too much from the content of the story.

* * *

><p><strong>Professional Amateurs.<strong>

**Chapter # 1 : Rough Draft.**

This was how it usually started. With that look.

"Hello, Kagamin!" Konata greeted brightly.

This was always what Konata was like right before she was going to ask a big favor. Kagami turned around and waved goodbye without looking back.

"See you after school, Tsukasa." Kagami said.

Tsukasa returned the gesture and eyesmiled even though her sister wasn't looking.

"No, wait!" Konata exclaimed.

Kagami heard a chair screech across the floor as Konata bolted from her desk and ran to intercept her before she could get too far down the hallway. Konata stretched her arms out as far as they would go to make a barricade out of herself. Kagami didn't like her smile or the way her eyes were lit up. If this was anything like the last favor she asked, the answer was already. . .

"No." Kagami said bluntly.

Konata's arms fell to her side and she chuckled.

"What's on the menu for today? Whatever Tsukasa made?" Konata asked, pointing at the bento box Kagami was carrying.

She was trying to catch her off guard. Kagami tisked and made an effort to move past Konata, but Konata skillfully blocked her and took a step forward. She was now uncomfortably close, so Kagami took a step backwards. Konata readjusted herself and grinned.

"I have some rice cakes, some mochi, and some dango. I have so much of it that I can't possibly eat it all by myself. How about I share it with you over lunch?" Konata asked.

"What do you want?" Kagami requested point blank.

"Come, I insist you gorge yourself before we discuss business." Konata stated, grabbing Kagami's arm.

Kagami gently broke away from Konata's grip.

"I'm not a kid. I can get there myself."

Konata looked slightly disappointed.

"This isn't about homework, is it?"

"Nope. Not at all." Konata reassured her.

"Then I bet it's about some anime or a video game." Kagami said.

"I'm an open book, so what?"

"I am not going to cosplay. I have lent you too many things already. I do not want to go on another futile treasure hunt with you to find some out of print manga. I can't go on another pilgrimage right now because I'm very busy preparing for entrance exams."

"At least hear my proposition. Please?"

She sighed and then caught herself when she saw Konata perk up, thinking the battle had already been won. Kagami didn't really know what this was about. All she knew was it would probably take more time than what she had and could possibly rob her of her energy, her dignity and her self-respect. However, mochi and dango were involved. Konata was an excellent cook and Kagami felt she could get away with eating some sweets even if they were merely part of the plan.

"You can tell me what you want, but the answer is already no. Negative. Not at all." Kagami said.

"I can live with that. Hurry, the buns are getting less delicious."

Kagami walked inside Konata's classroom and took a seat at the cluster of desks they had arranged so they could all eat together. Miyuki was absent today since she was getting her wisdom teeth cut out, so it was just the three of them. Konata slid a second container stuffed with dessert over to Kagami. A piece of paper had been taped to the bottom, which Kagami tore off and unraveled. She was holding a copy of an advertisement from a magazine. Manga Time Kirara was holding a contest. In order to win, an aspiring young author needed to submit a story dealing with one of their more profitable franchises.

K-On.

The mere mention of this show made Kagami cringe. It was a show with no substance, only fluff. Konata had tried her best to get Kagami interested in it, but she had higher standards. It took much more than a group of bumbling twits acting like fools to catch her interest. She continued reading. The story could be about anything the writer wanted. It allowed for a lot of creative freedom and it would make the judges work to pick the winner out of the hundred people who were allowed to participate. The story had to be between five and ten thousand words in length. They were actually looking for something that might contain something the series was missing. A plot.

Whoever happened to be lucky enough to win would earn twelve thousand yen and a set of very rare figurines of the K-On cast sculpted by Alter and the coveted nendoroid of Ritsu Tainaka, which had yet to see a second release. Their story would also be published in the June edition of the magazine, which the winner would receive ahead of time, and it would be read by the whole cast on an upcoming drama CD. Pretty major stuff. They had two weeks to write this story and send it to the judges via E-Mail.

"Is this some kind of a joke?" Kagami asked.

"Nope, it's very real. I already signed up for it."

"I bet you were first in line."

"Of course I was, but my typing was too slow and I actually wound up being the thirty third registered participant."

Kagami set the piece of paper down and began eating her regular meal, saving the snacks for later.

"Questions? Concerns? Comments?" Konata asked.

"I didn't realize that show was so popular."

"They used it as a way to get people interested in a census. The sales of the first Blu-Ray volume were only eclipsed by the Evangelion reboot. The elementary school the show is based out of has become quite popular with fans of the show. Casio made a special limited edition digital camera that would automatically impose one of the characters on the photo you were taken, no Gimp required. One crazy otaku used his money to buy all the instruments and equipment the band uses."

"Can he play any of them?" Kagami asked.

"Of course not." Konata replied with a smile.

"And you like this show a lot, don't you?"

Konata nodded enthusiastically.

"Anything that comes out of Kyoto Animation is just so very awesome. How can you possibly go wrong with Air and Haruhi?" Konata asked.

"You and your moe." Kagami said distastefully. "Have you even watched one episode of Golgo 13 yet?"

"There is a fine line between suspension of disbelief and being silly. That show crosses it."

"But he always gets his shot!"

"He could get his shot with both hands tied behind his back. Blindfolded. He'd roundhouse his M16 and make a shot with it point black at eight hundred meters during a tsunami and you would be all like this is the best anime ever! Oh, and did you notice how his M36 can somehow magically shoot more than sixbullets? I think he should tell people how he's able to do that."

"Okay, what about Spice and Wolf?"

"Yuck, boring!"

"But it has a tsundere."

"She's not enough to save the show."

"Ghost in the Shell : Stand Alone Complex?"

"Even more boring. Twenty minutes of talking and three minutes of action is tedious."

"Yeah? Well, if I want to watch a bunch of high school girls get together and do nothing, I'll buy a camcorder and film myself."

"You should. I bet it would be a very good show."

"I want my DVD's back."

"Sure. Let's get down to business, though. I'm going to write a story and you're going to correct it. If we win, I get the figures. You get the money. What do you say?" Konata asked.

Kagami thought about it for a moment. Konata could tell that she was actually thinking. This was progress. She had managed to get through to her.

"What's the matter? You don't want to have a little fun? Is this going to take too much time out of how much you study?" Konata teased.

She let that comment slide. Kagami studied so much because she knew it was the only way she was going to be successful. The harder she worked, the more it would pay off in the end. Kagami firmly believed that.

"Why can't you just ask Hiyori?"

"I did, but she said fan fiction is for lonely people who can't draw."

"What about your dad? Isn't he a writer?"

Konata crossed her arms across her chest and looked off to the side.

"I don't want to tell him that I'm doing this. He's clingy enough as it is. If he finds out I'm writing something, he'll get all excited and stuff. This isn't something I'm going to make a hobby out of. I think my style would differ greatly from his and besides, this isn't an original idea. It's a cover. I think he would be a little disappointed, maybe. I don't know. I do know that I don't want to find out."

"It is a little weird they're asking for a story. I think a doujinshi would be more appropriate."

"This type of thing can be pretty popular as well if it's done right. For example, there was this one guy who wrote a light novel based in the Evangelion universe. He made the story a lot more plausible and believable."

Kagami raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know." Konata said, taking note of Kagami's expression. "He improved the plot to the point where it actually makes sense to the average reader. It's kind of like the reboot. Remember how the Eva units could just run through the city and nobody really cared? Not in this rendition. The Angels are lured to certain locations and then dealt with. In two instances they do get into the city, though. Anyway, he uploaded it to an archive and put a link in his profile to make donations to him if the reader liked the story enough."

"Well, if that isn't arrogant I don't know what is."

"It's not that arrogant. Creating something, anything, is pretty difficult. I don't blame him. Anyway, apparently someone important noticed, had him take down the story, had him correct a couple of things and add a hundred more pages before it was actually released to the public at the last Comiket with a very limited print run."

"Did you read it?" Kagami asked.

"Yeah, it was absolutely awful, but that's besides the point."

"I thought only Americans were into this."

"Not at all. Some rich kid made a site for us enthusiasts in Asia a while back. I go there sometimes when I'm bored."

"Is there any real talent?" Kagami asked.

Konata thought about that for a moment before she answered.

"There's a couple of amateurs who are okay, but I haven't read anything worthwhile."

"Says the girl that only reads light novels and manga." Kagami said. "Konata, what was the last actual book you read? You know real writers read books, right?"

"Yes and the last book I read was Lolita by Nabokov."

"Why of all books did you choose Lolita?"

"My dad recommended it."

Kagami recoiled in disgust and blushed bright red.

"Have you no shame?" Kagami demanded.

"Dad said Nabokov was the original lolicon. I think he's right. It wasn't half bad. A little weird, but lolicons usually are. Have you read it?"

"Yes, but only because I have an interest in classical literature. Anyway, why are you coming to me for help? Is it because I'm the only one left on your list?"

"Yup. Come to think of it, though, you are the best choice. You're an avid reader, you're smart, and Tsukasa says that when you write a report you convey your message very well."

"Don't try to flatter me." Kagami said as she took a bite out of a mochi.

She then realized what she had just said and set the mochi back down for a moment.

"What about Patricia?" Kagami asked, still trying to look for a way out of this.

"She's actually in the contest as well. She's my competition."

Kagami considered the reward. She could make good use out of twelve thousand yen.

"So you get the figures and I get the money?" Kagami asked.

"All of it?" Konata whined.

"Okay, we'll split it fifty-fifty."

"Nah, you can keep the money. You don't have a job like me. Your parents could use the break from your allowance."

"If we even win. Konata, I've never really written anything for fun before."

"That's because you usually don't do anything for fun aside from burying yourself in your homework. All I'm asking you to do is clean up after me. Grammar, plot holes, things that just don't make sense. . .narrative. . .that sort of thing."

"Are you gonna be mad if you don't win?" Kagami asked very seriously.

"Nope."

"You had better not be. Honestly, I don't think we stand much of a chance."

"Kagamin, I happen to be somewhat of a connoisseur of this form of literature. I have seen what works and what doesn't. I believe that because I am so critical, I am more qualified to write something decent than someone who is blinded by their obsession."

"Sounds like a waste of time." Kagami said as she took another bite out of her mochi. "You would be better off coming up with your own idea. Haruhi was a light novel before it was an anime or a manga. You would make more money if you managed to start your own franchise as opposed to beating a dead horse, a.k.a writing fan fiction."

"Nobody is happy when a show they love finally ends. So what do they do? They get together and they make it last forever. Touching, isn't it?"

"Pointless, actually. Given what they're putting on television these days, I'm sure at least three of the shows coming out next season are rehashes of what's being done this season." Kagami said.

"Okay, say something positive, please. You're bringing me down."

"This is the tastiest mochi I've ever eaten. Listen, we've got fourteen days. That means you have seven days to write your story and I have seven days to correct it."

"Can I have ten days instead? There's this new expansion coming out this week for Fantasycraft and I absolutely have to have it! You can go underwater now! Finally!"

"Do not let that stupid game get in the way. I was actually hoping you would take a break from it to do this. How silly of me."

"Hey, take it easy. If anything goes wrong, I'm sure I'll be at the source."

"In that case, we're partners. You don't have any plans to make this dark, do you?"

Konata shook her head.

"Good, because those dark doujinshi's you gave me were positively horrible. By the way, I hope you write better than you draw." Kagami said, recalling the sketches she had done of all of them.

"You act like you know me so well. Make sure that dinosaur PC of yours can run Libre Office. Oh, one more thing. Are you ready for this, Kagamin?"

"Ready for what?"

Konata reached inside her briefcase and pulled out a small brown leather case. Kagami reached for it, pulled back her hands and wiped them with a napkin, and then took the nice case. She flipped it open. A platinum Kindle DX III shined up at her. Her heart skipped a beat. She wanted one of these things so bad that holding it was getting her a little excited. This was Amazon's latest release. It finally supported color and could actually handle PDF files properly thanks to a slightly bigger screen, which could be manipulated by touch. The device was off and the screen saver was active. Tamama from Sgt. Frog saluted Kagami cheerfully. Konata must have already hacked this thing because she was expecting to see Mark Twain or some other famous American author.

"You're drooling, Kagamin." Konata said.

"That mochi must be very good." Tsukasa commented.

Kagami wiped the slobber from her face and handed Tsukasa a mochi. She then slid the Kindle III over to Konata.

"I couldn't possibly ask to borrow this. It's so expensive!" Kagami said. "I'd feel horrible if I broke it!"

"Yeah, but you won't. You're good with other peoples things, Kagami. Besides, I saw the way you were looking at him just now. I think he'd be willing to stay with you for two weeks."

"You're letting me borrow your Kindle for two whole weeks?"

"Yeah, just don't buy any books without asking me first. Besides, there's a reason I'm letting you borrow it. Remember how I said that Patty is also a contestant? It's not her work that she's submitting. There's a few authors she really likes that she translates for to keep herself immersed in our language. They're. . .hmm, how to put it?"

Konata looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"I only gagged once or twice." Konata said.

"Sheesh, you're bad." Kagami said.

"Whatever, you just got done denouncing a harmless otaku pastime. If anything, I'm just brutally honest. Come to think of it, so are you. Anyway, you'll be reading work by some people that are not very conventional. According to Patty, they come up with some of the more unique ideas in the K-On fandom and they're somewhat readable, which is more than I can say for a lot of other aspiring authors."

"I see. Follow the leader, huh?"

"They're not leaders, but yes. It should help you get a feel for this project since I know you don't read this kind of stuff. Here, you'll need this as well."

Konata reached into her briefcase and pulled out a BD-R that she gave to Kagami.

"This is the complete second season of K-On. Watch as much as you can stand first, then read the stuff on the Kindle."

"Oh, what do we have here?" Kagami asked, grinning. "Is this by chance what they call a raw? Where's your otaku spirit? Eight thousand yen a disc for two episodes cutting a bit into your pocket?"

"Yes, very much so. I'll wait for the American release and import it like you do since Japan and America are in the same Blu-Ray region."

"You had better keep this to yourself."

"Well, unlike most NEET's I don't plan on living with my father indefinitely. By the way, I'm going to need your help with the English. I don't want to accidentally order something I don't need."

"Sure, it's actually very easy. I'm impressed. You're finally learning how to budget. What happened?"

"My father found out how much the Clannad Blu-Ray boxed set cost and I had an intervention."

"You spent _sixty five thousand yen _on that set?" Kagami exclaimed.

"Don't talk to me like it didn't hurt to make that purchase. I knew how much I was spending."

"Konata, that's the price of a nice television!" Tsukasa said, finally deciding to add to the conversation.

"Or a new video game system. Or a Kindle DX III. I know, I know! Do you know what the worst part about the whole thing was? All the Blu-Ray did was sharpen the colors."

"That's because all they did was upscale it! Back then, studios weren't optimizing their shows for HD. You should have known that! What were you expecting?"

"Kyou and Ryou to morph into you two in 1080p." Konata said, pointing at the two sisters.

Kagami sighed. She was getting tired of hearing that. Konata seemed absolutely enthralled by their apparent similarities. Kagami failed to see the resemblance.

"Do you two still have those lace ribbons I gave you?"

The sisters nodded.

"Why don't you ever wear them?" Konata asked, pouting.

Kagami had thought it had been a joke gift when she received a ribbon for her hair which was identical to the type the Fujibayashi sisters wore until Konata admitted to making them herself.

"Wearing those would be no different from slapping a brigade leader badge on your arm or coming to school with those little antennas the Evangelion pilots have done up in your hair. I pride myself on not being ostracized."

"Why can't all otaku's be like me instead of people who smell like old Cheetos and don't keep their rooms clean and feed cake to their favorite anime characters on the holidays?"

"They do what?"

"They get a good picture of their favorite anime character and they feed stuff to it over the monitor. Sometimes the mouth of the character isn't even open so it's like they're force feeding her."

Kagami was speechless, Tsukasa more so, who dropped the mochi she was eating.

"Ah, but what is the lesser of two evils? Doing that to an anime character or doing that to their favorite seiyuu?" Konata asked.

"Both are unacceptable!" Kagami concluded. "Anyway, let me see what we have here."

Kagami turned on the Kindle and took a look at what was available.

"Which folder. . ." Kagami started to say.

One of the folders was labeled Budokan. Kagami clicked on it and was taken to where she needed to be.

"Never mind."

There was also a folder for manga. Lately mangaka had finally decided to begin releasing their titles online, much to the delight of their fans. Kagami checked it really quick and was pleased to find there was nothing lewd on the device. Her family would probably play with it and the last thing they needed to see were things only legal in Japan. The pages displayed beautifully. She had to buy one of these things.

Kagami went back to the Budokan folder and saw five stories awaiting her approval. She was a quick reader, but the Kindle didn't count pages. A tiny bar beneath the story would mark her progress. They were all fairly lengthy. Kagami believed she could finish these within three days or so if she was feeling lazy.

"I think it would be really hard to sell this sort of thing at a convention." Tsukasa said, peering at the Kindle over Kagami's shoulder.

Konata laughed darkly and smiled.

"It is. You have to be sponsored by an established circle to stand a chance. Otherwise, you had better catch the reader with your opening paragraph. It's not like drawing, where you can easily lure someone in with great art."

"You do have an idea of where you want to take your story, right?"

"Of course. I want it to be a surprise, though, so I don't want to share it with you yet."

"That doesn't seem like a good idea." Kagami said, doubt seeping into her voice.

"Trust me."

Kagami narrowed her eyes.

"That's asking a lot."

"Okay, fine. You got me. I don't have an idea of what I want to do yet, but I'm pretty sure it can't be that hard. I do have an idea for our pen name, though. We should call ourselves Konami!"

"That name is trademarked." Kagami said.

"You're right! I forgot!" Konata said.

By her reaction, she must have seriously been considering it and she did indeed seem very distressed that they could not use it.

"Wait, what if we put a space in it so it's like Ko Nami and then Ko is written in blue and Nami is written in lavender?"

"How about you think about where you want to take this idea and get back to me in three days?" Kagami asked.

"But the expansion pack. . ."

"No. Three days. If you haven't thought of anything by then, I'm out. I won't help you if you're not going to take this seriously."

"Do you have any ideas?" Konata asked.

"Hey, this was your plan." Kagami replied, steadily growing more agitated.

"Okay. I'm sure it can't be that difficult."

**X**

Not another word about the project was exchanged as the day went on. Konata was far too concerned with her game to worry about anything else other than how long it was going to take to reach level eighty. Kagami didn't ask Tsukasa about it since her interest in manga and anime was casual at best while Kagami considered it a hobby. For Konata, it was a part of life.

Kagami knew she was going to have to pick up most of the slack. If she was having a hard time thinking of a decent idea, she was positive that it was nearly impossible for Konata to come up with something. She began regretting her decision to participate in this endeavor. The odds were against them and she was afraid that their entry would be pathetic. Kagami would do her best to prevent that from happening. A part of her really wanted to win. There wasn't any point in entering a competition without intending to place first. She may have spoken differently earlier at lunch, but that was because she wasn't really thinking too much about the whole thing until after she had agreed to it.

There wasn't an open seat on the train that would take them home, so reading the Kindle and mining for ideas would have to wait until later. The rest of the day played out as it normally did. No adventures, no surprises, just the steady progression through day to day life that would ultimately lead to nowhere. Kagami was ahead on her studies by about a week, so she quit early that evening. After her bath, she managed to secure the living room for herself and watched two episodes of the show she now had to care for.

It wasn't easy. Kagami's eyes glazed over. She brought a notebook with her, but all she had managed to do was title it ideas so she could file it away properly later. Aside from the moe, Kagami could not see how Konata could enjoy this show. This stuff was destroying the industry. Somewhere in her daze she felt it might not be a good thing she was so disinterested in the show and having so much creative freedom was actually a bad thing. It would have been easier if they had already been given a specific point to expand on.

When she'd had enough, she stopped the disc and left the living room. The computer was free, so she checked her E-Mail and wasn't surprised to see that Konata hadn't sent her anything yet. This process took a lot longer than it should have since their computer was a relic. The processor was fused to the motherboard and it only had a gigabyte of RAM. It managed to run Windows XP with encouragement from whoever was using it. Kagami was secretly hoping it would die soon. Computers had at least four cores these days and ran Windows 7.

Kagami went inside her bedroom and retrieved the Kindle. Opening the case was like removing a treasure from a bag in a movie with very high production values. She could hear an instrumental from some film she couldn't remember playing in the back of her mind. The world just seemed like a brighter place altogether. Somehow, there was hope for the future. Someday she would have a boyfriend. Maybe someday soon.

Unable to contain her excitement, she leaped on her bed, rolled over on her back, and booted the Kindle up. Joy gave way to apprehension when she realized what she was supposed to read. The formula of the show was rather simplistic. A meaningless event transpired, Ritsu said something stupid, Mio hid in the corner, Tsumugi kept her mouth shut, Yui acted like she needed medication to help her concentrate, and Azusa tried in vain to make everyone get their act together. The stories she read somehow corrected the problems the show had while at the same time adding a slew of their own unique idiosyncrasies to the plot they were trying to convey.

A rather violent zombie apocalypse, a tragic tale of Ui losing Yui to some form of black magic, a yarn of battling murderous creatures from another dimension with their music, a comedic adventure involving a mutant goldfish, and another story about Azusa being trapped in the clubroom with demonic vestiges of her friends who knocked her eyes out for not accepting the reality that had been created for her were the silly excuses for light novels that she burned through. Patricia's translations were spotty in a couple of places, but it didn't really become too much of a problem.

"These guys are really weird." Kagami said to herself as she set the Kindle down for the first time since she had begun reading.

Kagami covered her eyes with her hands. That hadn't been too horrible. Her tolerance for the show had increased now that she was able to see the characters in a new light, but she still couldn't think of anything. Given what she had gone through, Konata might come up with anything. Kagami took a look at her alarm clock to see what time it was and nearly fell out of her bed. She had spent way too long reading. It all came back to her. At one point she was sure Tsukasa wished her a good night and she had grunted in reply, but she could barely remember it. Her father had said something as well. When Kagami was serious about reading, the outside world didn't matter as much.

She put the Kindle away and changed into her pajamas. At least tomorrow was Saturday. Sleep would not come easily that evening. In fact, it didn't. She had already stayed up too far past her bedtime and she couldn't manage to relax. In times like this, it was advised that you get out of bed and go find something quiet to do until you felt tired. That was such a stupid suggestion. What if sleep was just around the corner, waiting to be rescued from insomnia? Her medicine was out of the question since she needed to know that she could have eight hours of sleep before she took it. At four-thirty in the morning, Kagami had her hands behind her head and was staring at the ceiling blankly, waiting for her thoughts to subside and fatigue to finally set in.

"At least this ceiling is familiar." Kagami said with a stupid grin. "I'm so clever."

Her phone vibrated. She had forgotten to turn it off and normally it would be enough to rouse her from her slumber. There was only one person who would text her in the middle of the night so she could read the message first thing in the morning. Kagami retrieved her phone and read the message.

_It's done!_

That had been rather fast. Hopefully Konata was a prodigy because Kagami thought that this should have taken at least five days. Since there wasn't much else to do right now and Konata was still up, Kagami decided to give her a call and get the full story.

"Good morning!" Konata sang.

"Yeah, right." Kagami muttered, looking in her mirror to see how red her eyes were.

"Can't sleep?"

"That's fairly obvious."

"And you're grumpy, too. I assume this is about about the masterpiece I'm currently sending to you via E-Mail?"

"Yes. Care to elaborate?"

"Most certainly. I had a fit of inspiration so powerful that I just couldn't sleep. It was amazing! It was euphoric! I had to write it!"

"It sounds like you're still on a high."

"Now I know why other people waste their time with hobbies such as this!"

"I thought I said that earlier."

"You did, but I wasn't listening. I am aware of what a constructive hobby is. I wish I had one, but it's a little late to start learning how to play the guitar and I definitely don't want to wait ten years to get good at drawing."

"As if conveying an idea coherently through writing is a skill that could be acquired in a shorter period of time."

"I love our conversations, Kagamin."

"I guess I'll go read it now."

"Hooray! Hey, don't hesitate to give me a call back once you're finished. I'll probably still be up."

"What's the longest you've ever spent awake?"

"Three and a half days."

"That must have been a really good game."

"More like a really good high school entrance examination. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my story!"

"Sure, we'll see. Talk to you later. Goodnight."

She ended the call and set her phone down on her desk. Kagami quietly proceeded to the room where they kept their computer. They had learned to keep it on since it took three minutes to boot even after Kagami had tinkered with the system configuration. _Bleeding Hearts : March of Justice_ awaited her appraisal inside her E-Mail inbox. As usual, Konata had neglected to add a subject line to her message.

_You're supposed to add a witty summary before you send it to the judges. I'm not good at summaries, so just take a peek and we can work on that part later, okay?_

Kagami winced. She downloaded the file to her hidden TrueCrypt container that contained all of her personal files that she didn't want Matsuri to see and printed it off. She would much rather read it on paper, but the brief glance she caught of the story on the computer screen told her that she might want to say a prayer first. Kagami realized the ink cartridge needed to be changed when half of the page came out with faint letters on it. She hastily tried to cancel the document, but it just kept printing. With a sigh of frustration, she waited until it was finished and ran the faded pages through the shredder.

Kagami changed the ink and tried again. The document wouldn't print. She restarted the computer, grabbed a cup of white tea from the kitchen, and went back to the computer. It was still booting. Four minutes later she finally had a fresh copy of the story in her hands. Kagami went back to her room and set the short story down on her desk. Getting comfortable, she fetched a pen from nearby, took a deep breath, and began reading.

**NEXT TIME WITH HOLO, THE WISE WOLF (SPICE AND WOLF) : **Since the previews of Target Audience proved to be such a notable part of the story to those who reviewed it, the author has taken it upon himself to risk humiliation once more by delving into the troubled depths of his imagination and bringing forth an interpretation of the next chapter as it would be told by a specific character in order to add charm to the previews. I am Holo, the wise wolf, and all I can say about Konata's story is that it is very much like a balloon. It catches your eye, but it is full of hot air. Yet why trust my opinion on something so trivial? Experience it for yourself. Only then will you know if it is truly worthwhile.


	2. Konata's Attempt : Bleeding Hearts

**Note :** If you're just now tuning in, this is not a troll fic. It's a guess as to what Konata's first fan fic would look like. I am intentionally trying to make this chapter horrible and more unreadable than my usual work. Bear in mind that this is an _important_ part of the plot. As a reminder, this is a K-On story. Have you not seen K-On? A bunch of girls get together, form a band, never practice, and experience relatively little character development. It's an acquired taste. Kind of like Lucky Star.

* * *

><p><strong>Bleeding Hearts : March of Justice!<strong>

**By Ko Nami.**

AZUSA'S POV (Point of view)

_Today, I shall make them practice. _Azusa thought to herself.

The light music club never practiced, but today they would practice, Azusa would make sure of that. They would practice until their fingers bled, until they were exhausted, until it was way past time for all of them to go home. If they actually intended to become a band, they would need to practice. If they continued on the path they were on now, they would never get anywhere. If they were supposed to go to Budokan, they would need to begin to take themselves a little more seriously. Being lazy wouldn't get them anywhere. This was not what Azusa had been thinking when she had join the band. Perhaps it would have been better if she had joined that other band the one time when she thought about joining another band. Perhaps then she might actually be going somewhere. It wasn't like she wanted to become a famous musician. It was the music made her feel good and she wanted to continue to feel good by playing more music as much as possible whenever she could however she could whenever she wanted when it pleased her and even when it did not do so as much. The day was approaching its end and it was time for Azusa to head up to the clubroom where she had left her Fender Mustang that had been given to her as a birthday present some years earlier by her parents once they discovered that she had acquired their musical taste when she started playing her uncles guitar at the tender age of twelve. Azusa was usually the last person inside the clubroom at the end of the day. She was not afraid nor surprised that her senpai's were ahead of her this afternoon. **BUT ONCE SHE ENTERED THE CLUBROOM, A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE AWAITED HER TENDER SOUL.**

MIO'S POV (Point of view)

This is horrible I can't even begin to imagine why something like this would happen to us what did we do to deserve this how and why who could possibly be so cruel I just can't understand it I probably should have refilled my Sertaline at the pharmacy this morning but I didn't I suppose we shall see if that is actually a bad decision on my part oh wait the half life of the medicine is twenty six hours that means this stuff will take two days and four hours to completely burn out of my system I think that should elate me but it doesn't I think I need a stronger dose 200 MG's is not doing the trick anymore geez I really need to get a grip on stuff and things breathe just breathe I don't care come on just breathe Mio!

* MIO GASPS FOR AIR*

TSUMUGI's POV (Point of View) I believe it would be entirely appropriate to hire a detective and a hitman.

YUI'S POV (Point of view)

**:3**

They were all crying because of what had happened. Azusa could hardly believe what she had gone on do. Cake. And though it was a joke at first. Her senpai's were sulking at the "Round Table" while Azusa rushed over to the storage room and opened it up. All that was inside was a bunch of junk and

"It's no use." Ritsu muttered. "Their gone."

"Who has taken them?" Azusa demanded, yelling shrilly in a tone she did not usually enjoy using but could not keep herself from doing.

YUI : \ (- - ) /

"As if any of us actually expected that you would know anything." Tsumugi said as she sipped her coffee.

YUI : (;´?`)

"Breathe, just breathe." Mio said to herself, calming herself down so she could stop shaking.

"All they left was this VHS tape." Ritsu said, holding it up for Azusa to see.

The tape was black except for the white label on the front. Nobody had written anything down on the blue label so they would not no anything unless they managed to find a player that could tell them something. The film inside was all the way to the side that said yes you could play it from the beginning now.

"Ritsu, this is a beta." Azusa explained.

"What you say?"

"It's not a VHS tape. It's a beta tape."

YUI : (ﾟｰﾟ)

"It means that we're double screwed. Drat!" Tsumugi exclaimed, throwing her napkin to the ground. "Or perhaps rather not. My father can acquire a beta player for us and then we can get to the bottom of this and find out exactly who has taken our instruments!"

YUI : (; ・_・)―――――――――C―_-)

"Exactly!" Tsumugi stated.

"It had to be more than one person. They took my drum kit. That thing is such a pain to carry. I hope they didn't do anything bad to it. I couldn't afford a new one." Ritsu stated.

"No, but I could. Do not worry. It may not come to that. Leave this to me." Tsumugi said.

Tsumugi pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Sato, this is Mugi. I am in desperate need of a beta player. Do be prompt."

The doors to the light music club burst open and a television duct taped to a stand came swirling in until it came to a stop just inches away from the precious cabinet where Tsumugi stored all of her China. Mio got up to check and see if anyone was outside the door and nobody was. Ritsu's mouth hung open in shock while Tsumugi smiled broadly and puffed her chest out in pride. A beta player was taped to the cabinet and a set of instructions was taped to the side of the television. Azusa tore the paper off and looked at the directions.

"Excellent work, Sato. I will see that your rating is changed to an eight." Tsumugi said over the cell phone.

A bouquet of blue roses flew in from one of the windows. Tsumugi picked them up and smelled them enjoying their scent.

"Azusa, I suspect you have previous experience with this type of equipment." Ritsu said.

"Yes, senpai."

Ritsu moved in close to Azusa so that there noses were almost touching. She grabbed Azusa by the back of her head.

"Call me senpai again." Ritsu whispered passionately.

They both then had a big dirty make out section. Ritsu's hair band fell out of her hair because it was so hardcore.

YUI : ＼（＾ ＾）／

"Whoa, hey!" Mio exclaimed, insanely jealous.

"Wait your turn." Ritsu instructed.

"Get off! You somehow managed to bite my tongue, you're giving me a whiplash, and you cracked my nose! Though I do appreciate the gesture, this is not the time for yuri!" Azusa screamed, pushing Ritsu away.

She's right. "Azusa, use that beta player to play that tape." Tsumugi said.

The whole team waited with baited breath as Azusa slipped the tape inside the player and pushed play. There instruments were in a warehouse of some kind assembled in the way they were when they played. Each was propped up by a stand. Cans of gasoline were all around the room. A woman stepped in view of the camera. She was blonde and had a very evil stare. She was so beautiful. So lavishly beautiful. Every detail of her face was perfect. All the girls were envious of her smooth skin. How could she look so young but be at the age she was? Such luxurious hair. Such a taste in style. She looked kinda like Medusa from Soul Eater, but she was actually Houko Koshimizu, sworn rival of the entire group.

YUI : :(

"Hello, girls. It's me. You might recall our recent encounter at the battle of the bands, which you lost so miserably. In all of you I see infinite potential. You are the people who will make it in this world. However, I can't have that. I will be the next great sensation and I will watch all of you burn! I require the money that will help me become a star. I know the only one in your band who can provide that is Tsumugi, so cough it up! Don't go looking for your precious instruments. Our fans are patrolling the streets. They know what you look like and they will keep you from getting very far! You have until midnight to provide me with twenty million yen in cash. Act quickly."

YUI : ; - ;

Azusa sneered. Houko. The venue where they had met previously had been quite a place. They had made it in by the skin of their teeth because they followed Ritsu's theory, which was that they would succeed whenever required. So far that had proven to be a somewhat effective strategy. They stomped the other two bands, but lost points to At the Scene of the Crime, Houko's heavy metal band. Even their loyal fans from their own school could not deny the power of Houko's music. To add insult to injury, they improvised a cover of one of the songs After School Tea Time had played. It sounded better when they did it.

"Audacious!" Tsumugi declared, barely controlling the frenzy she was in.

"Okay. Let's call the police." Ritsu said reluctantly.

"What are you saying? Didn't you see Elizabeth? She looks so scared." Mio said.

"Hey, this girl is obviously nuts. I'm not so sure that it would be wise to play her game. Besides, it would be far less expensive if. . ."

Ritsu tisked and cleared her throat.

"Tsumugi could always just buy us new instruments. Her words, not mine." Ritsu said quickly.

"I will not be buying anyone new instruments. We will take our equipment back by force and we shall make At the Scene of the Crime pay for poor sportsmanship!" Tsumugi said darkly.

"Somehow I feel inclined to agree. Where do we begin? Do we even know where the instruments are being held?" Azusa asked.

"Yes! They made it fairly obvious! Azusa, rewind the tape!"

Azusa pressed rewind until the tape reached the beginning, clicked, and began playing again. Tsumugi jammed her finger against the screen, leaving quite a smudge and sending a tiny bolt of static electricity into the air.

"There! The kanji for good fortune! It is only at the Ikari Storage that this character is used!"

YUI : (O_o)

"I know because he is a partner in business with my father." Tsumugi replied.

"I'm not so sure. . ." Ritsu began.

Tsumugi went up to Ritsu and grabbed her by the collar of her uniform.

"You just had sex with Azusa's face! Unprovoked! If you are any bit the club president you should be, you will so be on board with this!" Tsumugi said.

"Are you feeling okay, Mugi?" Ritsu managed to gag out.

She let Ritsu go and shoved her into the counter, causing her to bump against Ton-chan's tank.

"I am attempting to assert myself and be more vocal so I may be a major part of the band!"

"Uhh. . .okay." Ritsu consented.

"She's right. We can't let ourselves become intimidated by other bands. You're acting like Mio, Ritsu-senpai."

"Sorry." Mio said, lowering her head.

"Come to think of it, I've never seen you so worked up, Mugi-senpai." Azusa said.

"The passion for music. It burns in my blood. What has happened to us is obscene. We must make it right!"

YUI : :D

"Okay, fine. It looks like this is something we're going to have fight for, though. I don't know about any of you, but the extent of my knowledge in martial arts is the karate chop." Ritsu said, performing the gesture.

"She's got a point. Do you have anyone who can help us?" Azusa asked Tsumugi.

Tsumugi threw her head back and laughed haughtily.

"My aunt owns a private military company. Houko has declared war on us. Do you follow?" she explained with a leer.

"Perfectly! To the streets!" Azusa declared.

They left their bags where they were and proceeded to walk out of the school and into the streets. Mio took a few steps closer to Tsumugi, who was sending a text to someone.

"Seriously, you're acting completely out of character." Mio whispered. "What's wrong?"

"I'm on bupropion for insomnia and nerves. Jokes on that stupid quack who dares to call herself a doctor in my presence; it keeps me awake. Still, it's quite a cocktail. My life has been all sorts of odd these days. I guess what happened today has triggered hypomania. Don't worry, it's temporary. Maybe. Look over there!" Tsumugi shouted.

She pointed off toward an apartment building. All the girls looked, trying to see what Tsumugi was pointing at. Tsumugi grabbed Mio's shoulder and spun her around, pulling her in close.

"Want some?" Tsumugi asked, pulling out a prescription bottle from one of her pockets and popping the cap with one hand.

"Yes, actually." Mio admitted, shaking violently. "How much?"

"Three hundred milligrams."

"That is quite a cocktail." Mio admitted.

"I spare no expense."

Tsumugi popped one and began eating it with her teeth and Mio had already swallowed one of the pills dry by the time the other girls figured out that there was nothing to stare at.

YUI : (.O.')

"I agree." Ritsu said.

As they wandered out into the courtyard, they began hearing the sound of a helicopter approaching. A Chinook swung into view and landed where it could. The back popped open and out came a bunch of rather strong looking gentlemen and lady soldiers mixed in as well. There were ten in total. The fifth-teen soldiers stood crisply erect in Tsumugi's presence. Some of them were very handsome. One of them was wearing a steel gray suit with a red visor. Other students in the area were looking at the display with a dumb founded expression on their face.

"This might be bad publicity." Ritsu stated.

"Already taken care of." Tsumugi said.

Five girls who looked exactly like each member of After School Tea Time arrived in an armored vehicle. Ritsu went up to the double playing her and could not believe what she was seeing. They were perfect copies.

"Who are you?" Ritsu asked.

"An alibi."

"Practice hard in our stead. We have a reputation to uphold." Tsumugi told her double.

An explosion of fireworks in the sky caused the students who saw what was going on to become confused and not watch as the girls made their way into the streets accompanied by their small army while their doubles stood there and began to act exactly like they would under normal circumstances. Yet there were a group of people who were not fooled by this distraction and they pursued the band until they had gone outside of the gates.

"Not so fast, Light Music Club!" a voice ordered.

They spun around on their heels to face their aggressor. Each soldier tensed, ready to fight. They're stood Haruhi Suzumiya and the members of her club, the SOS Brigade.

"And what might you want?" Ritsu asked.

"It looks like you're having a unique adventure. Allow us to document it."

"Right. After we went through all that trouble to make sure nobody knew it was us who was leaving the school." Azusa said, noticing the camera Mikuru was holding.

"We? More like me." Tsumugi muttered.

Haruhi huffed and motioned for Mikuru to stop recording. She snapped her fingers, causing Koizumi to come forward with the tape that had just been in the camcorder. Ritsu was the one who was given the tape.

"There. Now let us come with you." Haruhi said.

"That doesn't sound like a request." Ritsu observed.

"This is the first chance our club has to investigate something interesting, which is the reason we formed it!" Haruhi said. "At least we've been trying to improve our club, unlike you girls."

"Her argument is valid." Azusa said.

jhgasjkhgjkg

"This whole thing will be a secret between our clubs, right?" Mio asked.

"The SOS Brigade prides itself on anonymity. If you wish to remain anonymous, we will defend your identities!"

"Unless we receive a subpoena to disclose your information." Yuki added quietly.

"No! Even in the face of adversity, the SOS Brigade must hold true to its values!"

Yuki blinked.

YUI : ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

"She's right. The longer we wait, the worse things are likely to get." Ritsu said. "We don't have time to waste. Let's proceed."

The entourage filtered into the street, ten soldiers with nine high school students. The look on their faces was such that nobody asked any questions as they marched through the streets, filtering to the sidewalks to allow the occasional car to pass through. The medicine still wasn't working for Mio, whose thoughts were like a raging torrent she could barely contain within her brain. The others believed everything was fine and had been taken care of, so there were no worries. In a way, it was exciting. This was the first meaningful thing they had done as a club. Azusa was pleased to see that they were this serious about their music. It meant something to take back what had been stolen, even if nobody could be allowed to know that they had any involvement with the situation.

Eventually they came upon the cronies of At the Scene of the Crime protecting the entrance to the Ikari Storage establishment. They were dressed in the paraphernalia of the band, which went as far down as the underwear they were wearing. At the Scene of the Crime made a large portion of its money off of merchandise. In fact, more clothes were sold than the actual songs they had available for purchase online, perhaps so that those who liked them in their city could feel as if they were part of a group. The designs of their outfits were top notch, commissioned by a local artist with plenty of talent. Their logo managed to clash heavily with the artwork, but Houko did not seem to feel that this was a problem. A Mazda RX-7 was being used as a barricade for the entrance.

At the head of the group was Kirino Taketatsu, the drummer of their group. She was tall, had a fierce stare, and her hobbies were graphic design and photography. Her hair was rather long and purple in color. She wore the shirt for the band and black pants with chains coming out of them and half gloves with custom shoes that matched the outfit.

"Where are your fans?" Kirino demanded. "Are they far too innocent to see you as you are now?"

"Lady Tsumugi makes good music with her friends!" all the soldiers said in unison.

"Oh, what's this? Pathetic. Can these slaves even name three of your songs?"

"Fuwa Fuwa Time, Cagayake Girls, My Love is Like a Stapler!" the soldiers shouted, again, in unison.

"Azusa Nakano is one hot babe!" one soldier said.

"No, Ritsu Tainaka is far more attractive! She should take off that headband once in a while!"

"Mio forever!" the rest of the soldiers said.

"Don't be afraid to put mayonnaise on your sandwich, Mio!"

YUI : :(

"What about your fans?" Tsumugi asked. "How loyal are they?"

Kirino used remote start to turn on the vehicle, which blared their hit song, A NEET Death. All the fans began headbanging and rocking out with air guitars and drums. They then began fighting one another as if together in an mosh pit. Kirino gasped.

"Hey! Don't fight each other!" Kirino tried to shout over Houko's demonic vocals and her own speed drumming technique.

The lyrics were hard to not hear and quite unmistakably loud.

_Living with your parents._

_No desire to move forward._

_Complacent in your filth._

_Killing all your dreams._

_YOU WILL DIE A NEET DEATH!_

YUI : o_o

"That's a bit harsh." Ritsu observed.

"Deny truth, live a lie." Tsumugi .

Kirino turned off the music and their fans were still going at it.

"**STOP! YOU ARE ACTING LIKE FOOLS!**" Kirino screamed.

"You might say that their bare knuckles have caused streets of rage." Ritsu said with a stupid grin.

Mio bopped her one on the head, causing a lump to appear with a bandage already on it.

"Why does our music have this effect on people?" Kirino demanded the heavens.

"Because they are full of hate. Your music helps them release their anger." Mio said stoically.

"Just give us our instruments and we'll leave." Azusa said.

"Never! If you want them, come and get them!"

Tsumugi laughed.

"Idiots. Attack!" she ordered, cutting her laughter off abruptly.

The soldiers attacked, which wasn't that hard since most of their work had been done already. Tsumugi was at the head of the group, drawing near to Kirino, who was looking left and right for backup.

"Unless you want that car to be put through a bonus round of Street Fighter II, you had better move it right now!" Tsumugi said, pointing at the Mazda.

"Mugi-senpai, look out!" Haruhi shouted.

A fan threw a punch at her. Tsumugi caught the punch and brought the man to his knees, adding pressure to the knuckles she held. A swift roundhouse to the jaw told them all that Tsumugi must have been trained to protect herself because she was a member of a very wealthy family. Kirino got in her car and drove off, revealing the way to them. No soldier on Tsumugi's side had incurred any injuries, but some of the fans for At the Scene of the Crime were going to be incapacitated for quite some time. A crown of eight stars circled above their heads endlessly.

Tsumugi suddenly doubled over, clutching her stomach. Azusa was the first at her side.

"Mugi-senpai, what's wrong."

The face she made was indescribable before she stood up slowly and put a hand to her cheek.

"Don't worry, Azusa. I'm fine. Please forgive my erratic behavior. I have not been feeling quite well lately." Tsumugi said elegantly.

Her medicine had to have finally worn out. Now she was back to regular Tsumugi. Or perhaps the mania had left. Either way, it made Mio worry about her.

"Gentlemen, please be sure not break any bones, okay?" Tsumugi said to her soldiers.

"With as much as we're being paid, we would be stupid not to comply with your request." a foreigner with a mullet and a beard informed them.

"Ritsu, if you would please take charge of your group." Tsumugi requested, gesturing for her to take the front.

"Umm. . .yeah." Ritsu said.

"Headband!" her fan shouted.

Ritsu blushed and took off her headband, placing it inside one of her pockets. Tsumugi bowed low and walked away from the gate. Ritsu walked to the gate and turned to face everyone.

"Uhh. . . banzai?" Ritsu said.

"BANZAI!" the soldiers shouted in unison.

Ritsu cleared her throat, feeling a little more confident.

"Let's finish this!"

Just before they did, a giant mech crashed in front of them! It was purple and it had a long horn and a scary face!

"Behold! It is I, Akeno Nazuka! This is as far as you go!"

Abruptly it shut down in front of them as a cloud of smoke shot out of the back.

"No! I have already run out of gas!"

"It was not gas you ran out of, but spirit!" a new voice came.

The group watched as a girl with long blue hair and a rather distinctive ahoge jumped from the back of the giant mech behind it.

"Who are you?" Ritsu asked.

"I am merely just a simple high school student, simply passing by. One day we will meet again!"

The beautiful blue haired youth wearing a uniform from Ryooo High left the area.

"You're still not allowed to go any further!" Akeno roared.

They all took one step forward.

"Stop!"

Another step.

"I'm warning you!"

They walked into the lot, surrounded by garages and ignored the insults Akeno hurled toward them.

"Which one do you suppose she's in?" Mio asked.

"Probably the largest one." Ritsu surmised.

"They're all the same size."

"Wait a second. How about that one that the twins are standing in front of?" Azusa asked, pointing towards it.

The twins were Yoko and Momoko Yamaguchi. Both played the guitar and they did so interchangeably to confuse people. Unlike most twins, they did not make any effort to differentiate themselves from each other. They dressed the same way, spoke in the same fashion, and did everything together, often posing as the other when the opportunity presented itself. Both had cyan hair and golden eyes. Their hair was done up in a rather distinct style that required about an hour of preparation and half a can of hair spray. Both twins had the uncanny ability to remain perfectly in sync with each other. They turned together to face the mob as it approached them.

"We meet again." Yoko said, Momoko mouthing what Yoko said through a very powerful connection of ESP.

"Where's the money?" Momoko asked, Yoko mouthing the words as had been done before when Yoko had spoken.

YUI : :p

"You would dare put your instruments in mortal danger? And you call yourself musicians. How laughable." Tomo said.

"You disgust us. You do not practice. Your sound is clearly off. Yet somehow, through it all, your fans persist." Yoko said.

"Forget the money, we want your luck. We want to make songs about how delicious a slice of cherry cheesecake is and how breaking a nail can ruin your image for a day and have them received better than a song that actually has meaning." Momoko said.

"But no. Instead, we must sing about hitting someone in the stomach so hard that their intestines wrap around the rest of their organs and destroys them from the inside out. Just like capitalism." Yoko said.

"You're not musicians. You're barely even women." Momoko said.

"If you don't have the money, I suspect you intend to take the instruments by force. Very well. You won't get far. Combined, our dark powers will be far too much for you."

They both struck a dramatic pose.

"Dark powers of the world, lend us your might so that we might fight!"

They extended their arms forward with such force that they popped their shoulders. Nothing happened.

"The fireballs aren't coming out." Yoko said.

"That much is abundantly clear." Momoko said.

"Houko lied to us." Yoko said.

"Houko has always lied to us."

"I've been thinking. We're pretty talented. I mean, I don't want to sound arrogant, but we do put most guitarists to shame."

"Yes, the thought has occurred to me as well. I laugh whenever I search for advanced guitar tips on YouTube."

"I think that we should join a new band. I am not happy in this band. Why should I suffer? The pain only lasts for as long as I let it."

"Agreed."

"Can I be in your new band?" Akeno shouted, still stuck inside her purple robot.

They ignored her. Both the sisters stopped trying to launch a fireball at the soldiers standing in front of After School Tea Time and took off the leather jacket that had the logo for their former band on it and tossed it aside.

"I don't suppose you're looking for two guitarists?" Yoko asked Ritsu, raising an eyebrow.

"Wow, you've got some nerve." Ritsu asked.

They smiled.

"Very well. Don't forget. You still need to practice. When you play, our ears bleed. Yet you have potential." Yoko said.

"Great potential." Momoko said.

"Though I seem to doubt that any of you are capable of unlocking it so long as you remain immature. Best regards for your future."

"Good luck."

The sisters left, walking perfectly in step with each other, swaying their hips and arms the same way.

"Geez, even their hair is bobbing in the same fashion!" Azusa said.

"I think they're adorable." Tsumugi said.

"Watch them, Mikuru! You could learn a thing or two about being sexy!" Haruhi ordered.

"The door is locked." Mio said as she tried to open it.

"Could one of you gentlemen kindly tear this door off of its hinges?" Tsumugi asked politely.

It took five of them to break the lock and pull the door away from the opening, leaving a gaping maw that exposed their instruments. Houko was sitting behind Ritsu's drums and jumped back in shock, knocking Ritsu's special chair over. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a box of matches, but the smell of gasoline was not heavy in the air so none of them worried.

"Thanks for babysitting!" Ritsu said.

"Where's your bass player?" Azusa asked.

"She couldn't make it." Houko replied resentfully.

"What a pity. Please go home. Now." Tsumugi requested politely.

Houko laughed darkly. A pentagram appeared beneath her feet and the whole area seemed a lot darker. Mio squealed. Haruhi's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide.

"The truth is, I'm actually just a leftover of the past. Back in the days when few could read and even fewer could write. People such as I were hunted to extinction. Yet I have survived over the decades. Adapting. Evolving." Houko explained.

"This sounds like one of your songs." Azusa remarked, clearly unimpressed.

"And for good reason! Do you not see? Music is the source of my power! The reaction of the crowd! The feel of the notes! You girls disgust me. How can you be as well received as you are when you are so pitiful? Have it no matter. Your legacy ends here."

Fire appeared on the pentagram and began slowly circling up Houko's legs, enveloping her body.

"I knew it! I knew there was something interesting in this world!" Haruhi declared.

Mikuru produced a rag from her pocket, stepped behind Haruhi, and clumsily placed the rag over her nose, which made her pass out immediately.

"Sorry, Suzumiya-san." Mikuru said, in tears.

They were all stunned by the sounds coming from Yuki, which resembled an audio track being played at twenty times its normal speed.

"Removing magical girls powers. Removing evil disposition. Removing period." Yuki stated.

There was an audible pop as Houko mysteriously disappeared. Yuki turned to everyone else.

"Now. What should be done with these girls?" Yuki asked herself.

**NEXT TIME AS TOLD BY HOLO, THE WITTY FURRY (SPICE AND WOLF) : **At the very least, I am sure that we can agree she did try. Should she not be commended for at least putting forth the effort to share her idea with the rest of us? That is indeed a matter of personal opinion. Kagami believes the story is broken and moves to intervene in the next chapter. She knows that an author can be quite a proud person. How can she possibly convince Konata that her story needs work? I do not think there is enough paper in the world that can preserve the numerous ways this energetic yarn can be improved. Still, there is some charm to it, much as there is some amusement to be gained by watching a drunk jester try to juggle or a tone deaf bard attempt to sing. We shall see what Kagami has to say in the next chapter.


	3. Revision

**Chapter 2 : Revision.**

Kagami stirred at the noise of someone knocking on her wall. She turned sluggishly to see Inori standing in her doorway. Though her eyes were still drunk with sleep, Kagami could tell Inori was all dressed up and about to head out for a day with her friends.

"You're going to sleep until noon at this rate, Kagami. It's ten-thirty." Inori informed her.

She snapped awake, sitting up in her bed with a surprised look on her face. Inori chuckled. Kagami's entire body was sore since she had been sleeping in such an awkward position. Her eyes demanded they remain shut, burning intensely to get their wish.

"Thanks, onee-chan." Kagami said, rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes.

Inori smiled and left. Kagami sighed heavily and checked her alarm clock, which she had forgotten to set. It was clear she had overslept. She wasn't sure at what point her insomnia had finally gotten tired of her. All she knew was she had a horrible dream about the girls from K-On. It probably had something to do with forcing herself to watch the show earlier in the day. Reality began to set in when she spotted the papers sitting on her desk. Apparently that hadn't been a nightmare.

She remembered everything. It was a rather unpleasant realization. Kagami had crawled into bed after leaving an enormous question mark beneath where the story abruptly ended just as the sun was rising. She flipped through the papers, examining her corrections and the notes she had left. There was so much red. The paper may have very well been bleeding. A headache began forming at the front of her skull. There was absolutely no way they could submit this story and hope to get away with it. None. At best the judges might appreciate Konata's effort and refrain from burning it in front of her.

Kagami didn't know if there was anything they could salvage from this story. What had Konata been thinking? They needed to get together and brainstorm so that Konata's next idea would actually work. Kagami retrieved her cell phone and dialed Konata's number. She wasn't immediately taken to her voice mail, so she knew Konata was up. Konata didn't answer. Typical. Kagami tried their house number.

"Izumi residence." Yutaka answered.

"Hey, Yutaka. It's Kagami. Is Konata there?"

"Yes, give me a moment to go get her."

It took a minute for Konata to arrive.

"Sorry, I was trying to break my Soul Calibur II time attack record with Talim. What's up?"

"I think we need to talk." Kagami replied.

"About what?"

"About your story!"

"Oh, yeah! Did you like it?"

Kagami choked and bit her bottom lip. Konata was her friend. Did she really have the heart to tell her the story was absolutely awful? That it may have been one of the worst things she had ever read? Konata had put effort into the story. It had come from within her. In a way, it was almost a part of her. Did that mean insulting the story would insult Konata? It was clear she needed to improve. Yet was that not Kagami's personal opinion? There were many professional authors out there who were terrible, yet people still loved them. Whatever Kagami had to say would be what Konata could do to make the story appealing to _her._

Yet there were plot holes, perspective errors, a crossover that clashed heavily with the main universe, and a terrible ending. Somehow, those could be improved and that might possibly help the story appeal to a wider audience. Perhaps there was a diamond in the rough. Maybe this was a good idea. It just needed a lot of fixing. Kagami continued chewing on her lip. Those were her own opinions again. There wasn't any way around them. This was more of a conundrum than it should have been.

"Well?" Konata asked.

Kagami had to be honest, yet she would do so in a gentle way. It was better for Konata to hear it from her than some stranger.

"Umm. . .I thought the part where the metal heads fought each other was funny."

"Yeah, I liked that part, too!"

"There's some stuff that needs to be done with it. I've got some notes and a hard copy of the story I corrected what I need to give you. Can I come over now?"

"You are welcome at my home anytime, Kagamin. Besides, I kind of need help with math. I was going to see if you could come visit anyway."

"Help with math, huh?"

Usually assisting Konata with algebra ended in Kagami giving up and letting her copy the answers. She had been more stern in the past, but Konata's inability to understand equations had eventually gotten the best of her.

"All right. I'll probably see you in about fifteen to twenty minutes."

She dressed, fixed her hair, and stuffed the document inside her school briefcase. Before heading downstairs, she opened Tsukasa's door and knocked on it while standing inside her room.

"Wake up!" Kagami said.

Tsukasa groaned and shifted under her covers, muttering nonsense words to herself. At least Kagami had tried. The only other person in the home who usually slept in was Matsuri, who shared her room with Inori, dorm style. There was no sense in even trying to help her get out of bed. Kagami had a piece of toast and a cup of coffee before heading out towards Konata's home. It was a beautiful day outside, which made the long walk quite pleasant. Along the way, Kagami thought about how she was going to explain everything to Konata. Hopefully they could still remain friends even though Kagami didn't like her story. Holding a grudge over something like this would be quite petty.

She also attempted to come up with her own idea, but she kept drawing a blank. The anime and manga industry made it seem so easy with all their rehashed ideas. Kagami felt her ideas were all too realistic and boring. When she tried to formulate an extravagant plot, it became embarrassing and stupid. The harder she thought about it, the more anxious it made her. This didn't seem like something she could force out. If she were to come up with something, it would probably occur to her as an epiphany would. She had to keep trying.

The walk to Konata's house didn't take nearly as long since she was so deep in thought. Konata admitted her inside.

"Welcome."

"Hey." Kagami said in greeting as she took off her shoes.

Konata lead Kagami upstairs to her room. Her father gave a friendly wave, but the lecherous smile he had on his face made Kagami glad he was a man of restraint. She would be eighteen soon enough and then he wouldn't be interested.

"You know, you could have just corrected it and sent it back to me via E-Mail." Konata said as they entered her room.

"I know. I figured this required more of a personal touch."

"Why is that?" Konata asked as she pulled out her floor table.

They both took a seat on the floor. Kagami opened her briefcase, retrieved the story, and set it on the table.

"That's a lot of red." Konata said, flipping through the pages.

"I don't think we can use this." Kagami said.

Konata looked visibly perplexed.

"Huh?"

"How is Aki Toyosaki supposed to read an emote?" Kagami demanded.

Kagami's initial attack decimated the wall of pride she would have otherwise had to work through. She had raised a valid point and she couldn't think of a way to reply to that, so Konata just grinned.

"Hyphen, underscore, hyphen?"

"Absolutely not. Furthermore, your Haruhi crossover breaks the story more than anything else. Sakuragaoka High is a girls high school. What are Kyon and Itsuki doing there?"

Konata laughed nervously. There wasn't anything she could say to justify that mistake, even to herself.

"Did you put yourself in this story? Do you expect them to invite you over to a recording studio so you can act with everyone else if they make a production out of this? How can you be in front of something if you jump behind it? How could you possibly misspell the name of our school?"

"Maybe I should have spent more time with this last night. I wanted to provide you with something so you knew that I was serious."

"Aside from the Haruhi crossover, I couldn't sense your voice anywhere in the story. It seemed like you were writing under the influence of another author. I guess that's only natural since you're just starting out and you haven't yet found your own unique style."

"But what about the witch? I thought that was a cool idea. Kind of like the Terminator, or something."

"How is she anything like the Terminator?"

"Well, in the second movie he goes back in time and. . .yeah, it's nothing like the Terminator. You're pretty good at this, Kagamin."

"If you say so."

"You said you were interested in literature, right? Maybe you could become a book doctor."

"Your father would be thrilled."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I don't think his heart could take it. Stick with law. What else do you got? I imagine there's more."

"Tsumugi was psychotic."

"I wanted to add something to her character since she never gets any attention."

"No." Kagami said with a strong degree of finality, shaking her head. "By the way, how did you suddenly get so good with medicine?"

"That's Yutaka. She's got an encyclopedic knowledge of medicine and human physiology. It's actually kind of funny. Here, let me show you!"

She left the room for a moment to fetch her cousin, who looked slightly embarrassed when she entered and waved at Kagami and quietly fidgeted with her hands now that she was the center of attention.

"Kagami, name any ailment you can think of."

"I don't know. Indigestion?" Kagami said, shrugging.

"Also known as dyspepsia." Yutaka replied without hesitation.

"Too easy! Stay there for a second."

Konata jumped on her computer and leaned in so it would be more difficult for Yutaka to see the screen. In less than a minute, she had what she wanted.

"What's Haloperidol?"

"An anti-psychotic." Yutaka said.

"This never gets old. Kagami takes medicine for her insomnia. It begins with a Z. What is it?"

"Zolpidem."

"What bone makes up the tip of your forefinger?"

"The distal phalanges."

"And your shoulder?"

"The shoulder isn't a bone, onee-chan. It's more or less a collection of joints. Some bones in that area are the clavicle, your collarbone, the scapula, your shoulder blade, and the humerus, which runs from your shoulder to your elbow." Yutaka said, using her body as a diagram.

"How do you make fraternal twins?"

"With two independently fertilized eggs."

At this rate, Konata would quiz Yutaka for another thirty minutes. Kagami sought to derail the conversation even though it was rather interesting.

"Are you going to become a nurse, Yutaka?" Kagami asked.

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. I might as well since I know so much about this type of thing. I keep up with it just in case there's ever a cure for what I have."

Though she said it so innocently and carefree, it depressed Kagami greatly. Yutaka seemed to notice she had dampened the mood.

"What a charming moe point!" Konata mused.

"She's your cousin."

"Yutaka is my very own little Nagisa Furukawa."

"I don't think I like that." Yutaka said seriously.

"You think too highly of that show, Konata." Kagami said. "For the wrong reasons, I might add. Consider this. Remember how After Story ends? That invalidates everything that happens after Ushio is born, particularly what Tomoya does for his father. It is actually a rather bad ending from a technical standpoint, which actually brings me to my next issue with your story."

"Wait a minute. The audience can assume Nagisa and Tomoya will lead a happy life together. Ushio would still grow up in a very healthy family and since Tomoya retains the knowledge of what happened before, he would still help his father. I liked the ending. It leaves a lot to interpretation and it's better than what the alternative would have been."

"Be that as it may and disregarding how adding Nagisa to the mix may very well have altered how certain events could have transpired, your ending still needs to be reworked. Remember what I said about the Haruhi crossover."

"Wait, isn't Sakuragaoka High an all girls school?" Yutaka asked.

Kagami snapped her fingers and pointed at Yutaka, emphasizing her point.

"Geez, you two are terrible!" Konata said, exasperated. "Did I do anything right?"

"Well, a couple of scenes were funny. They weren't enough to make up for everything else, though. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I guess. Better to hear it from you than some troll from 2Chan riding on the Rage Train."

"Can I read it?" Yutaka asked.

"So long as you can continue to keep it a secret from dad. What else is there, Kagami?"

"Aside from deciding what perspective you want at the beginning of the story and other miscellaneous nitpicks, that's all I've got. I'll try to think how we can make it better, but you've got the imagination."

"And you've got the brains." Konata said as she lifted her math workbook from her computer desk.

"Wanna trade?" Kagami muttered, bracing herself for what would come next.

**X**

Math was the language of the universe. Why so many people had a hard time understanding it was beyond Kagami, especially when there were so many examples to help them when they got stuck. Konata was just as inept as ever and the whole process took two agonizing hours. Kagami could barely take a break since Konata was struggling so much with the current unit she was on. It didn't help that she hadn't slept at all the previous evening. At least she kept at it and hid her frustration under her demeanor. Once they were finished, Kagami bolted out of Konata's house after a hasty farewell.

Before she went home, Kagami decided to take a brief trip into town in search of inspiration. Why was she going so far out of her way for this? She was certain it had something to do with the money. Kagami already knew what she wanted to buy if they won. A cute new outfit was at the top of her list. What if they somehow became famous and could do this for some extra income during college? That was quite a fantasy. Maybe they could collaborate on an original project and make their own light novel, which would eventually become its own series. The witch in Konata's story was intriguing. Kagami thought of Slayers and how dull a powerful magician in modern city could potentially be and continued on her way. As a realist and a very staunch critic, it was hard for her to create.

Eventually she found herself in front of the store she sought to explore. A sign was in the window that forbid cameras. And otaku's. Kagami smirked and checked her reflection in the display window, which advertised a sale and a couple of guitars. No, she definitely didn't look like a girl of that type. Her skin and hair were far too healthy. Hopefully they wouldn't pressure her into buying something. The store wasn't very busy. Heavy metal was playing over the speakers at a low volume. The clerk, a gentlemen with ragged long hair and an intense fear of magnets judging by the numerous piercings he had, welcomed her as she browsed. This store had every instrument the girls in K-On played, none of which Kagami had any previous experience with. All she could do was play the recorder, which was a lot like saying she could make obscene noises with her armpit.

Left handed instruments were indeed a precious commodity and were given their own section. Kagami had felt out of place before, but now it was even worse as the patrons regarded her with awe. She found a white Fender Mustang. It was the only Mustang the store had at the moment. Kagami smirked and tucked a string, producing a small note.

"It's red now, Azunyan." Kagami said under her breath with a stupid grin, feeling quite clever to be able to use that reference in real life.

It was a peculiar quirk of hers to say such things. She hid it from everyone she knew. Even Tsukasa. That hadn't been the only thing that brought something to mind. This store sold harmonicas. Kagami snickered and went through the rest of the instruments the girls played until she finally made it to Ritsu's drums. The kit she stood in front of was the same color and brand new. It was easily the most expensive instrument out of all of them. Kagami wondered how much Ritsu had paid for it used and found herself captivated by the display.

"Great minds think alike." a familiar voice said.

Kagami yelped in surprise and jumped to the side, shocked to have been so rudely interrupted. Konata stood behind her, dressed in what Kagami affectionately referred to as her guy clothes. Konata owned few outfits that complimented her figure. Kagami breathed a sigh of relief and smirked, although she felt a little awkward. She hadn't expected to see Konata in person for the rest of the day. To have that expectation squashed felt a little weird.

"Didn't you see the sign?" Kagami asked, pointing toward the entrance of the store.

"It's fine, I'm incognito." Konata replied.

"I can see that. You're actually walking around with your eyes open. For once."

"Fishing for ideas as well, I presume?"

"Yeah." Kagami said as she continued admiring the drum kit.

"I wonder if we'll ever get to see them go to Budokan." Konata mused.

Kagami chuckled darkly and shook her head.

"Hey, it could happen. They're relaunching the manga, you know." Konata insisted.

"More K-On? Didn't they already graduate?"

"Yeah. The new series takes place while they are in college. That's really why they're having this contest. The winner gets their story printed in the very same issue."

"Wow. They're in college now, huh? That's disturbing."

Konata blinked and tilted her head in confusion.

"Elaborate."

"Weren't you telling me otaku's throw fits whenever a boy gets involved with their favorite character? There's no way they couldn't get involved with a relationship while they were in college. If they didn't, that would be incredibly creepy."

"Good point. Don't worry; I'm sure they wouldn't show it, just like they don't show how much they actually practice. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it hasn't happened. However, if they did add a guy into the mix he would probably be an idiot or a stalker, somebody the otaku's could feel superior to. He wouldn't be dating one of them for very long, although I'm sure that one panel would be enough to destroy the whole series for some people. You should be happier, though."

"Why?"

"They're going to college! How many times does this happen? It proves that there's life after high school!"

"You needed a manga to tell you that?"

Konata crossed her arms.

"Well, sometimes it just doesn't seem that way." Konata said.

Although Kagami hated to admit it, Konata did have a point. They would all be adults soon. It certainly didn't feel like it. Where had all the time gone? Unlike her older sisters, Kagami would likely move out and attend college in a different city. That would require a lot of responsibility. Kagami knew she could do it. She just didn't like thinking about it. Life was full of changes and all fear did was beckon her back to comfort.

"I kind of hope there is a boy even though that would be the end of the series. It's funny to watch otaku's deface their merchandise, take pictures of it, and then complain about how they were betrayed online." Konata said.

Kagami laughed at that.

"Idiots." she said, smiling.

"I know, right? Love is for ero doujinshi's and ero doujinshi's only. Don't show the guys face, you'll ruin it."

"I can just see that one maniac you were talking about the other day smashing his Les Paul into the wall because Ui kissed a guy."

"You mean Yui?"

"Whoever plays the Les Paul."

"You're obviously a fan of the show. I wonder when we'll ever get to have that experience."

"Kissing a guy? Definitely not while standing in a music store gawking at instruments we can't play."

Someone cleared his throat behind them loudly. The two girls turned to see the clerk looming over them, looking down on them as if they were among the lowest dregs of society. He had obviously heard their conversation since he was holding the sign that had been placed in the display window.

"Are you going to buy something?" he asked, gesturing towards the front door.

Laughing nervously, the two girls left the store together with the clerk right behind them. Once out in the street, they had the pleasure of watching a man walk by carrying a Francesca Lucchini dakimakura with him. Konata didn't even bat an eye at him, but Kagami couldn't help but stare in shock as he walked past them.

"What is he doing?" Kagami asked.

"Taking the waifu out for a walk. What does it look like he's doing?"

"Do girls pull stuff like this?"

"Yeah. Less often. Anyway, I gotta get going. My computer is in dire need of a new graphics card." Konata said.

"If I think of anything, I'll let you know."

"Likewise. I'll fix the story tonight. Oh, one last thing. I just wanted to let you know that you were right."

"About what?"

"Everything you said about the story. I definitely misplaced my ego."

"Don't say that. It's just fan fiction."

Konata grinned.

"A day is not complete without your dere dere side, Kagami. You're quite a catch."

"Oh, shut up."

"And we're back to tsun tsun. Nice. Later!"

They parted ways. An idea began to form in her head as she made her way home. This one didn't immediately didn't die in a blaze of fire. The conversation she had with Konata was the catalyst. It was a bit too realistic, but K-On wasn't exactly in a fantasy setting. That was the main gripe Kagami kept mulling over. If she wasn't careful, it would be boring. Since this was her first story, she knew better than to be confident. However, if she did it right, it could be very meaningful. Kagami wasn't sure if it would stand a chance, but she was worried about how much time Konata was going to spend on the story after that expansion pack came out. It was best for her to be the leader. After all, she was more responsible.

If nothing else, her contribution might encourage more ideas. Besides, it was only five thousand words. She could probably churn that out in a couple of hours. Thankfully the computer was free once she returned. Kagami was eager to get the idea out while it was still hot and she hadn't killed it. After getting a cup of tea and waiting for Libre Office to finally load, she began typing, armed with a Wiki for K-On and a drive to create.

**NEXT TIME WI – **Ritsu Tainaka here, ready to spread the love and the joy! Holo won't be joining us for this preview. Something about not being a furry and find somebody else if you think that way. I happen to play a large role in Kagami's story! I'm flattered and I'm happy that I don't die and that I'm not horribly maimed in this story! What's it about? It's about friendship! It's about second chances! It's about letting your hair down! Can it win the contest? Maybe, maybe not! See you during the next update!


	4. Kagami's Attempt : Tempo

**Tempo.**

**By Kagami Hiiragi and Konata Izumi.**

Ritsu threw open the storage door, scattering shadows and dust into the corners away from the only item inside the small garage. A Rick Marotta signature Yamaha Hipgig Drumkit. These days it was merely a relic, but it had once meant a lot to her. Being in its presence sent a shiver down her spine, compounding the chill in the air. This had been the first time she had seen it since she stowed it away. Though she was not here for nostalgia, she could not help but reminisce.

So many memories. The taste of youth. Together, they were invisible. Nothing was impossible. She had never experienced the same type of thrill she felt the day she finally managed to buy it. The euphoria lingered while she had carried it home with Mio. She remembered talking with her neighbors about when it was okay for her to practice and not being able to sleep because she wanted to be play. Ritsu knew she had rhythm. Fueled by the fact she was at the perfect age to hone her skill, Ritsu pursued her passion diligently until practicing had become a chore. At that point Ritsu believed she was so good at drumming that she could succeed whenever it was absolutely required that she do so since she had always worked better under pressure anyway.

Following those thoughts would take her to a place she didn't want to go, so she focused on the condition of the drum kit instead. The throne she had used in high school was behind the kit. On top of the seat were the drumsticks she had used. Somehow they had remained where she had placed them on the day she left the kit behind. The logo for their band hadn't faded. That stung a bit. Ritsu sat behind the kit with the sticks in one hand. She traced the outline of the tom on her right. Like her, it had aged. The face plate needed to be changed. It was a little dusty. The metal skeleton holding the whole thing together no longer glowed. She would have to take care of that a little later if she could afford to do so.

Nobody else was around the lot or the immediate vicinity. It was a bitterly cold Sunday. People were inside or at work, which was exactly where she should have been. Ritsu took one last look around before returning to the garage her parents had provided her with. She wished it were possible to pay for it herself, but she couldn't have too many amenities at the moment. Ritsu sat down again and took a deep breath before starting with a slow beat. It was just like riding a bike. Her technique was quite rusty, not that it had been very refined to begin with.

The pace accelerated as the music moved through her soul. There it was. The high. Waiting for her. Yes, this was what she wanted. The power to create. Music was a force which moved constantly. She never got in to writing or art. It took too much time to _feel _the result. With the drums, her reinforcement was immediate. Ritsu had to stop herself before she got too carried away and drew the attention of an onlooker, ending with a final cymbal crash, a rather anticlimactic end to her impromptu demo.

It was a bit too late to expect more out of herself. She couldn't take this kit back to her apartment and she couldn't purchase an electric set of drums since the money she tried to save for the items she wanted always wound up being spent on necessities the very next month. Her time to become a legend had passed. Ritsu had squandered the opportunity on tea time and meaningless distractions. Back then, playing the drums became a lot like studying. She was good at it and saw no reason to improve. All she needed was one rehearsal and she was good to go. In a way, she had discarded her instrument. It was something she thought she had wanted. Ritsu certainly wasn't unfamiliar with misguided purchases.

Now was not the time to become attached to the instrument once again. She stood up from her seat and began taking up points at certain spots within the room, modeling the item in front of her. Ritsu used her fingers to frame a picture. The ceiling light was dull and about ready to burn out. It certainly didn't make the drum kit shine. Maintenance would help, but she knew if she spent too much time with her drums she couldn't do what she must. She took out an old digital camera and began taking the best pictures she could. Twenty five seemed like a good number. Once finished, she began cycling through them to delete the pictures she did not like while the light flickered above her.

While doing so, she came across an old picture she thought she had removed. These days there wasn't much to capture, but back then there had been plenty of reasons to save her memories. It was a picture which had been taken at their last venue. Ritsu's passive attitude toward the drums had not served her very well during that performance. She had dragged the rest of the band down with her.

They hadn't been doing very well under her leadership. It was easy to blame everything on homework, but she was merely kidding herself. There had been plenty of opportunities to perfect their music. By the time the night of their show had arrived, she wasn't entirely ready. The songs they intended to play were all new and she hadn't spent a lot of time learning them. Their experiences together in college had refined the topics Mio and Yui had chosen to sing about and changed their sound, but it wasn't enough, especially when Ritsu missed most of the notes. An important person was supposedly there that night, but nobody approached them after they had finished playing to an audience which was a lot younger than they were.

Azusa didn't take the whole thing very well. She was serious about having a musical career. Her education was merely backup in case that didn't work. Azusa was willing to sacrifice all of her free time in pursuit of her dreams and she wasn't getting anywhere with After School Tea Time, which she had told them was something which had died shortly after high school. None of them were willing to accept that reality. They played to have fun and that was no longer enough. It was time to be serious or stop trying. Hobbies which didn't pay were for kids.

In the six months that followed, Azusa formed her own band with Jun, Ui, and Yui. Tsumugi and Mio had been invited, but they declined. Yui only went because there wasn't much else she could do besides playing her guitar and singing. Nobody blamed her. Ritsu was replaced by another female drummer who was not as good, but would shine under Azusa's direction. In short, it was all over before it had even really begun. They had played in public a total of seventeen times counting their appearance during the high school festivals.

It was indeed a shame her group had been disbanded, but Ritsu would not let it get to her, even when it had come down to this. She may have wanted to go to Budokan at one point, but she wanted an apartment which didn't have paper thin walls a lot more right now. Her existence had become quite modest, but she was humble and didn't require much to remain stable. Mio roomed with her, Tsumugi kept in touch, and she was trying to get Satoshi to come live with her and Mio since he still hadn't managed to get a girlfriend. Not that she had been doing any better. That was all right. There was less to worry about, although it mystified her no boy had ever approached her.

Ritsu deleted the old photo. The pictures of her drums would have looked a lot more tantalizing if the light wasn't so bad. She made a note to touch them up before uploading them. Ritsu intended to sell them as she believed doing so would help her move forward. There was no reason to keep them. They were remnants of who she had been. There was a piece of paper tucked away in a drawer full of advantages an extra two hundred and fifty thousand yen could get her. She wanted a new television and they needed another kotatsu after the one Mio's parents had gotten her had exploded. That had been exciting. There was something wrong with their plumbing, too. Being an adult sucked. Ritsu was a bit too proud to go NEET, but it was no longer out of the question since her degree had yet to elevate her to the middle class. That's what she got for taking the path of least resistance.

She closed the door to the garage and began heading home. It was a long walk and the weather made it worse. Her apartment was like a tomb without Mio there. She would never be able to live completely on her own. The loneliness would drive her insane, not to mention the boredom. Skipping work was supposed to be exciting, but it wasn't better than any other day. She stole their neighbors wireless connection on Mio's ancient laptop and hopped on a local page where ads could be placed for free. Ritsu used a free photo editing application to make the dull images more vibrant, a task she had become quite proficient at that served no real purpose. Her asking price was three hundred thousand yen, serious inquiries only.

That had been easier than she had expected. All she had to do now was wait for an E-Mail to arrive in her inbox. She made sure her phone was on. It was one of the most expensive things she owned and she had it set up to monitor her Yahoo account. She tried to figure out what she was going to do for the rest of the day, which was a futile effort. She couldn't invite Satoshi over because she wasn't supposed to be home. He was probably studying, anyway. Tsumugi no longer lived in the area. Her other friends wouldn't be available until the evening and Ritsu hesitated to be around them since they would always nag her about being single. They also lacked redeeming qualities and Ritsu believed she should demote them to acquaintances, which was merely one step above people she didn't like. There weren't any movies to watch or new games to play and she had read all of her books. Perhaps it was time to see if there was something in Mio's library which appealed to her. She had been through this before without much luck.

Elizabeth, Mio's bass, caught her eye. It was placed in the corner on a stand next to a small amp and a case full of accessories. Mio might have stopped playing it as often, but she kept it clean and polished. Ritsu could not help but wonder how much this would fetch if they decided to sell it, which was a horrible thought even though there was no point in keeping it. Mio would never part with her bass. Ritsu plucked a string, producing a low note. It was properly tuned and ready to play, waiting for Mio to be inspired. Just like Ritsu's drums. Doubt began seeping in as she looked at herself in the reflection of the pickup.

Ritsu turned away from the bass. Her drums were a thorn in her side. She would not ask her parents for money again this month. Come Monday, she might not have her job any longer. Sure, she would like to cling to past, but in doing so she would be avoiding change and preventing the inevitable. Storage wasn't cheap and she was sure her parents wouldn't mind not having another bill come around at the end of the month. More independence was not a bad thing. Besides, their band was dead. Ritsu didn't have the desire to try and form another one. After School Tea Time was nothing without the founding members.

There was a flier on Mio's dresser Ritsu picked up out of curiosity. Underneath it was an envelope it had come in. An advertisement for a local club was on the cover, headlining three bands. It was the last place they had played in. There was no mistaking the band had been circled and the handwriting on the back of the paper cordially invited Mio to come. Ritsu checked her phone for the date and saw the performance was tonight.

Azusa had sent Mio this. Her band was ready for its first live performance and she wanted Mio to be there for it. With a tisk, Ritsu slammed the document on the dresser and left the room in a huff. She checked her E-Mail even though her phone clearly said she had nothing in her inbox. Sometimes it could be wrong. She couldn't wait to get the money.

The morning faded away into the afternoon. Clouds still covered the sky. The temperature outside dropped. Ritsu tried to keep warm. Her ad had twenty seven hits. She assumed that wasn't very good for the first six hours and thought about adjusting the price. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself. Ritsu cooked a meal to have something ready for Mio when she came back from work and cleaned the apartment, except for her room, which was a prime example of organized chaos.

Mio arrived an hour later than usual and looked quite disheveled, but fairly fetching in the suit she was required to wear. Ritsu looked up from the book she was rereading and gave her a friendly wave. She grimaced when she saw the folders Mio was carrying in the crook of her arm. Mio was bringing work home again, as usual. It wasn't a pleasant sight. Like Ritsu, she was about as happy as the next person could be, but her job just didn't seem to fit her. There was nothing either of them could do about it.

"Evening." Mio said, returning the greeting and kicking off her heels.

She walked into the kitchen and sighed heavily. Ritsu bit her bottom lip.

"You didn't go to work today, did you?" Mio asked.

"Nope. How can you tell?" Ritsu asked.

"Because you cooked something delicious."

"You're welcome!"

Mio looked upset when she returned. Ritsu was attentive, knowing exactly how to play Mio.

"How do you intend to pay your half of our necessities this month if you keep skipping work?" Mio asked.

"Don't worry, I have a way."

"Yeah?" Mio ventured, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm going to sell a few things."

"What do you have that's worth five thousand yen?"

Ritsu chuckled nervously and shrugged. Mio groaned and rolled her eyes, marching into her bedroom and closing the door. She didn't notice the door open up a crack as Ritsu watched her change for a moment before taking a step away.

"I have the cash in savings. I can prove that to you."

"Good, because I _do not_ want to cover for you _again_ this month." Mio said.

Mio came out of the room dressed casually, but her hair was still an impressive mess.

"Speaking of which, I might have something for you." Mio said.

She held out a folded application.

"It's for a local delivery company. A friend of mine knows a guy there. I think you might enjoy it a lot more than your current job."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you'll constantly be moving."

"Except when I'm driving."

"That's a rather bad joke, Ritsu. I spoke with Sawako today. She will still be a reference. You need two more."

"Correction. One more. You're a supervisor. That will look good on my resumé."  
>"I guess you keep rather good company, don't you?"<p>

"Very yes."

Mio blinked and shook her head.

"Just go to work, Ritsu. You're not a teenager any more. Grow up." Mio muttered as she headed for the kitchen.

"Can I come work at your place?" Ritsu teased.

"Absolutely not." Mio said.

It always amazed Ritsu she managed to reply to that question in the exact same tone no matter how many times she had to say it. Mio grabbed a bowl of food from the kitchen and sat at the table with a heavy blanket draped over her shoulders while going over the papers she had brought home. Ritsu wondered if she was going to say anything about the concert. Not that she cared. Whether or not Azusa succeeded in the music business had no impact on her life. She did not wish ill of Azusa, but seeing her in the limelight would indeed sting just a little bit. That's where they all should have been. It's where they belonged. Watching Mio work at the table while eating was just so fake. She didn't look miserable. Just tired. Ritsu saw the same haunting gaunt each time she looked in the mirror.

While Mio floundered in mediocrity, Ritsu filled out the application she had been given on their couch.

"By the way, I also found another job for you. It's in your field, but you would have to move to Saitama. I've got another connection who could possibly make the transition quite easy for you." Mio said.

"I think I'll just stay here for now." Ritsu said quickly.

"Fine. Not to be rude or insinuate anything aside from the fact that you should be more responsible, but we can't keep up like this forever."

"I know. You've got a while to go before you're engaged, though."

Mio scoffed at that.

"Saitama is too far away, but thanks for looking for me."

"What if I found something in my field and moved there?"

"Could you find a better roommate?" Ritsu asked.

"I guess not, no."

Ritsu grinned victoriously. Aside from missing a couple of payments every now and then, she was somewhat reliable.

"Thanks for the food. It was delicious, as always. I'm going to take a bath now." Mio announced as she stood from the table.

"I'll alert the media."

Mio ignored her. Ritsu cleaned the dishes and stored the leftovers in the refrigerator. The clock on her phone said there were ninety minutes left until the concert began. Maybe Mio wasn't going. Ritsu jumped on the Internet and checked how many hits had been recorded on her page. The dramatic change she had been hoping for was absent. Ritsu added an "or best offer" option to the page and erased her history, covering her tracks and feeling foolish for not doing so earlier. She heard something vibrating against Mio's dresser and quickly realized it was her cell phone. Ritsu snuck carefully into the room and checked to see who was calling. To her immense surprise, Tsumugi's name appeared on the screen. Mio was half tempted to answer it for Mio, but she knew better.

It had to be about Azusa's show. They were walking on eggshells around her. She wasn't sure if she should go unless she was asked to do so. It was difficult to explain, but there was no way around the invisible barrier which bound her to being a spectator. Ritsu would wait until the last possible moment to see if Mio said anything. She took her own bath immediately after Mio had finished and did so in record time without a meaningful soak. Mio was getting ready to go out. So she did intend to see Azusa. Her hair was perfect once again and she applied a very light layer of makeup on her face. She was dressed in one of her better casual outfits which seemed more like her. Ritsu pretended not to notice.

"Hey, Ritsu." Mio called.

Ritsu's heart skipped a beat as she bolted from the couch and leaned in the doorway to Mio's room, perking her head up attentively.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Ritsu said, playing dumb. "Swing your hips. He might like that."

"I'm not going out on a date. I'm. . .going to a concert. Azusa's band is playing."

"Wow, she got one together in just six short months? That's quite a rebound."

"Agreed. Tsumugi is going to be there. Would you like to come along with me?"

"Eh, I don't know." Ritsu said, scratching the back of her head. "What do you think?"

"I think it would be important to her." Mio said with absolute sincerity.

Ritsu had a good laugh at that.

"Do you remember what she said to me? What she said about me?" Ritsu asked.

"Azusa just gets that way sometimes when she's all worked up. You should know that."

"Well, what does she say when she talks to you?"

"Nothing about you. I don't think she wants to bring it up since we live together. I wouldn't say anything to her, though. Nod your head when I tell her she did a good job after the show and act like you care."

"Sounds like a lot work."

"I didn't think you would be interested."

"No, I'll go."

Mio blinked, surprised at how easy that had been. Ritsu took her headband off and ruffled her hair.

"I don't want to make it too obvious, though. I don't want to bother her while she's busy since she didn't technically invite me. It might distract her if she sees me and gets annoyed while singing. How's my disguise?"

"I always thought you looked better without that thing." Mio said, nodding in approval.

"I wear it to give all the other girls a chance."

"You just like how it feels."

"That too. Is it really that bad?"

"Maybe it's just because you wear it all the time. A new look is just naturally very refreshing on you. If you're coming along, don't party too hard. You work tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, that would probably be a good idea." Ritsu said spitefully.

"Get out whatever is in your system."

Ritsu returned to her room and did what she could to look good, yet casual and relaxed. Mio wore a darker, more reserved outfit. She wouldn't stand out as much as Ritsu, which was fine with her. The two of them headed to the train station. A feeling of dread began welling up in the pit of Ritsu's stomach. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. She just didn't want to be alone in the house. Mio had talked to her about being clingy before and had always lost the argument. She thought briefly about making up some excuse and heading home, but she kept moving forward and stepped on the train a second before she would have bailed.

This would be the first time she saw Azusa since their band had split up. Ritsu didn't blame her for what had happened. She secretly hoped they could make amends. They might not ever be friends again, but at least they could put their little dispute to rest. That would be really nice. It might be asking too much. She would just go with whatever happened. Besides, she was already certain this was a bad idea. Whether she turned out to be right or not, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Ritsu smiled slightly to herself and engaged Mio in further small talk to ease her nerves, being careful not to tease her since that wasn't the right way to handle her anxiety.

They eventually reached the club twenty minutes before the bands would start playing. Ritsu was surprised to see there was a line out front. The place was going to be packed.

"Wow. We never had these many people!" Ritsu said.

"That's because you never advertised very well. Azusa was using Facebook and several other sites to draw in all the old fans. She also knows the lead singer in another band that's playing tonight. They're headlining, but they had plenty to say about Azusa on their site so their fans are looking forward to her performance as well."

"I see. I guess networking wouldn't have hurt."

"We did tell you these things, Ritsu. We just didn't do them because we weren't sure how to with the way scheduling was handled. Azusa also said something about renting a studio for a day and uploading a free copy of their CD to her own blog, but she hasn't yet."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She didn't say. Maybe they need the money or maybe they can't fit a day in. I think it might be the money."

Ritsu took a look around before she said anything further.

"She can always ask Tsumugi."

"If anybody in her family had any connections in the music industry, it would be cheating to use them. They would be like Utada Hikaru if they did that."

"Oh, gag!" Ritsu said, and she started laughing.

"You should be signed because you're talented, not because your daddy owns a record label."

"No doubt, but Azusa could ask Tsumugi to cut her a check. Remember when she found out exactly how much it cost to rent our apartment back in college and then tried to pay for all of it herself?"

Mio shook her head.

"It's not a good thing to ask for money."

"That's like saying that it isn't a good thing to ask for help."

"I don't really think I can agree with that. You're pretty brazen, Ritsu. I'm going to text Tsumugi right now and tell her that we're here, so we should stop talking about this. I think she might already be inside."

"Understood." Ritsu said, dropping the topic.

The line moved at an even pace and Tsumugi did not reply to Mio's text. They soon found out why once they finally reached the entrance. Tsumugi was passing out merch for Azusa's band. A guy was with her. He was likely one of her father's personal assistants. Tsumugi would hastily say otherwise. Thankfully Tsumugi had shown some restraint and hadn't gone all out. There were only a few boxes and two of them were already empty. Tsumugi squealed when she recognized Mio and gave her a big hug.

"It's so good to see you again!" Tsumugi said. "Who's your friend?"

Mio grinned.

"It's me!" Ritsu said, placing a hand on her chest, slightly offended.

Tsumugi leaned in for a closer look and then jumped back in surprise.

"Ritsu!"

"Yes, very good."

"You look gorgeous!"

"Oh. . .thanks."

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stop wearing her headband.

"Thanks for getting her to come, Mio."

"No problem. What have you got here?"

They took a step closer to the boxes as people continued coming in. Ritsu took a shirt which had the graphic for Azusa's band plastered on the front. Jun had designed it. She was no slouch. It stood out more than the logo for After School Tea Time. There was a bunch of temporary tattoos as well.

"Has anybody recognized you two yet?" Tsumugi asked.

"No." Mio said, confused.

"Really? That's weird! You two aren't that much older. I've had plenty of people ask if I had anything from our band for sale. Apparently fans of Azusa's band tend to be fans of our old band. What's the term? Go figure?"

Ritsu nodded.

"Hey, would you like to help me sell stuff until they stop letting people in?"

"Sure!" Mio said.

"I want to go mingle. I'll be inside." Ritsu said.

She slid away before they could say anything. The club was just like she remembered it. The place didn't look like much on the outside, but the interior was pretty impressive. One thing always stood out to her at gigs were the restrooms. Some of them could be diabolical. This place kept them very clean. There were so many people here it was hard to move. A majority of them were women. Single guys would hit the jackpot tonight if they played their cards right. Could most of these people really be here just for Azusa? It was hard to imagine and she was a little jealous.

Ritsu went straight for the bar, which was currently unoccupied. The bartender wasn't Japanese, which surprised Ritsu. He was a rather sharp looking foreigner.

"Hi, how are you?" Ritsu asked in her best English.

"I doubled majored in Japanese studies at the University of Sydney." he said in perfectly understandable Japanese.

"What a relief! Hey, quick question. If I buy a drink here do I get it in a sippy cup or an adult glass?" Ritsu asked, switching back to her native language.

He put a party cup on the counter that was an acceptable size.

"Three quarters of the way full. All the way if I like you."

"You're cute and you speak our language very well."

"All the way it is. What will you have?"

"No preference. Surprise me. I just need to loosen up a little." Ritsu said.

He nodded and she paid him. She turned to face the crowd while her drink was mixed. A dark mixture appeared to her right and she took a sip. Ritsu immediately began coughing so hard she gave herself hiccups. She should have smelled it first and she was pretty sure it had just bleached her teeth. Being a lightweight, this would probably hold her over for the evening. The bartender was smiling at her reaction. Ritsu blushed and scurried away, taking another drink, feeling as though the liquor trying to digest in her tummy had eaten its way through to her ovaries. After coughing again and punching her clavicle, she decided to slow down. She couldn't pound this particular drink and ride the rush. Besides, her face was already getting a little tingly, which was fine because that meant she never had to spend more than two thousand yen to get where she wanted to be.

A crew was assembling the instruments on the stage for the first band. Ritsu looked around for people she might recognize while steadily consuming her beverage as quickly as possible for the maximum effect. She spotted a girl who had been in one of her classes, but she didn't know her well enough to say anything. There were a couple more people she thought looked a little familiar. If she had three more drinks, she might feel confident enough to pull back her hair with one hand and proclaim she had been in a band with Azusa once. Ritsu took that back. It would take five drinks to do something that insane and by that point Mio would be very, very upset.

Her phone vibrated. Ritsu took it out, hoping it was an E-Mail notification. Instead, it was a text from Mio.

_Wave your phone in the air._

Ritsu did so and saw two other phones wave in reply at the back of the sea of people. It was getting a little hot in the room with everyone mingling and she could smell the distinct odor of so many bodies interacting at once. Ritsu joined Tsumugi and Mio towards the back and took a seat in a comfortable booth.

"How many have you had?" Mio asked.

"This is my first one!" Ritsu proclaimed.

"It had better be. Here, let me have a sip."

"If you want to kiss me, just ask."

"Ritsu, come on!"

Tsumugi looked disappointed. Ritsu passed her cup over to Mio, who gagged once she took a swig.

"Geez, Ritsu! How can you drink this?" Mio demanded.

Ritsu found that incredibly funny. Before the three girls could do any catching up, the first band began playing once the MC finished introducing them. Their music was so loud nobody could talk. All they could do was crowd around each other and bounce around, an activity Ritsu never fully understood, but enjoyed nonetheless. She wondered how exactly this band knew Azusa. Their music was slightly different, perhaps a little edgier. The lead singer was pretty cute. That had to be it. Azusa was very lucky. They didn't sound too terrible, although Ritsu could see why they were just amateurs. Mio squished in next to her, bumping shoulders with Tsumugi and everybody else around them.

"You should have helped me sell some stuff!" Mio shouted.

"I know, if someone farts it'll be terrible!" Ritsu replied.

"That's not what I said!"

"I'm just being difficult! Why should I have helped you sell stuff for _Azusa's band_?" Ritsu said, adding heavy mock sarcasm to the last part and an interesting face.

"A lot of people recognized me! One even took a picture with me!"

"Too bad you're not dressed as a maid and bent over on your knees!"

"What?"

"Nothing! Go on!"

"They asked me why we quit!"

Ritsu stopped moving for a moment and looked at Mio.

"What did you tell them?"

"I. . .I told them we just did!"

She could have done without that. It hit her hard enough to make her sober. They had quit because of her. That was the real way to answer that question. Mio was just being polite. Of course, she hadn't meant it that way. Not intentionally, at any rate.

"Oh!" Ritsu said.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything!"

"No, you're fine!"

"Ritsu! Ritsu Tainaka, is that you?" a new voice asked.

It must have been a fan. She couldn't believe it. Ritsu's chest swelled with pride as she turned to face. . .

Ui Hirasawa.

"It is you! Thank God you're here!"

Ritsu's jaw hung open as she looked at Ui with a stupefied expression. Ui was Azusa's keyboardist, although she could technically play any instrument she touched. She couldn't play the guitar as good as Yui, but she was far more resourceful than her older sister. Ui was dressed up in the costume she usually wore to the gigs. She looked fantastic.

"Come with me right now!"

Ui seized Ritsu by the wrist with an iron grip and began pulling her through the crowd. Some people whistled at Ui as she went by with Ritsu trying to keep up. Mio and Tsumugi followed, annoying everyone around them as they tried to break through the congestion. They finally got to a door which led backstage, which a bouncer was watching. Ui made a gesture at him and he moved aside for her to get through.

"We're with them!" Tsumugi shouted.

They burst into a hallway as the door closed behind them. Ui let go of Ritsu and put both of her hands behind her head. She gritted her teeth and walked forward a couple of steps while the other girls caught their breath. After figuring out what she wanted to say, Ui dropped her arms and faced Ritsu.

"We need your help. Our drummer is out of commission."

"She's what?"

"Drunk! She's passed out in the restroom in a pile of her own vomit."

"Wow. She didn't even wait to get famous."

Ui wrinkled her nose at Ritsu's breath.

"Are you drunk, too?" Ui demanded.

"Not really. Wait. What? Your drummer? Akeno Nazuka? She's drunk? Are we talking about the same person? That seems a bit out of character for her. When did she turn to the dark side?"

"Akeno is no longer in our band. It's a really long story. I'll give you the short version. She didn't think we would ever go anywhere and she was tired of putting in all the effort and not seeing any results. We had to get another drummer. Her name is Houko Koshimizu. She's really good, but incredibly unreliable."

"And you want me to fill in for her?" Ritsu asked.

"That's right. Do me a favor. Follow my finger. Do not move your head, okay?"

Ritsu took Ui's impromptu sobriety test as a thousand thoughts flew through her mind and her heart beat hard against her chest. Ui tisked and sighed heavily.

"Did I pass?"

"I believe so. Do you think you can still drum?"

"Probably, yeah."

"At least you've got spirit. There's some bottled water in the back room. Have a couple and you should get a little better."

"Hey, hold on. Even if I wanted to do this, which I don't, I can't play any of your songs. I don't know them. We would have to play our old songs."

"That's a great idea! Me and Jun can sit this one out. Tsumugi and Mio can take our places. To tell you the truth, we never were really much of a band anyway. We were good, but you guys were better. We just helped keep the music club alive during our senior year and Azusa needed the company."

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I don't want to. Besides, they're expecting your band to play."

"Funny thing about that. Back in college, Mio and Yui were your primary vocalists. Yui was an integral part of your band and when she came into our fold, we left the song writing up to her because she has a better voice. Azusa steps in now and then, but her and Yui do the vocals now. We still play some of your old songs."

"You what? Is that legal?" Ritsu asked Tsumugi.

"If Yui wrote the song, she can do whatever she wants with it." Tsumugi said, nodding.

"Ritsu, my point is that most of that audience would rather hear After School Tea Time. It would be perfect!"

Ritsu sighed, shaking her head.

"I can't. Azusa. . .she. . ."

"She's a complete wreck right now. I've never seen her like this."

"Really?"

"Follow me and keep quiet." Ui replied.

As they neared the room where the bands waited to play, they could hear somebody sobbing softly. The door was cracked open a little bit. Ui grabbed Ritsu by the shoulders and positioned her just right. There was Azusa Nakano, a full grown woman trapped inside the body of a little girl. She hadn't aged a day. Yui, Jun, and another girl from the third band were trying to comfort her. Azusa looked thoroughly defeated.

"My parents are right. I need to grow up. This is useless, just like Akeno said. I'm going to be in my thirties, single, and still playing at dives like this! Maybe this is a sign. Maybe it really is time to quit."

"I think she's right." Ritsu mumbled.

"She just might be. However, do you want it to end for her like this?" Ui whispered fiercely.

Ritsu opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She shook her head instead.

"Then will you please help her?" Ui asked.

She thought back to her impromptu session at the garage earlier that same day. Ritsu could still do this. It wasn't any different from waiting until the last moment to play and expecting the rest of the band to harmonize with her even though she had been absent from all their practices. She wasn't sure how Azusa was going to react, but she couldn't stand to see her like this, not even if there was a little bad blood between them. Ritsu stepped into the room, feeling a rush of adrenaline go through her body as she walked forward as if in a dream.

Azusa was the first to look up and notice her. She blinked a couple of times, unable to believe her eyes.

"Ritsu?" Azusa asked.

"Hey." Ritsu replied nervously.

"Ricchan!" Yui said as she rushed toward Ritsu.

Ritsu heard her spine crack when Yui hugged her.

"I'm glad to see you too!" Ritsu managed to say.

"Ui said you would come! I wasn't sure if you would, but I'm so happy you did! What happened to your headband? Did you lose it? Hey, you smell like Bad Apple Juice! Have you been drinking?"

"Onee-chan, now is not the time." Ui said gently, prying Yui off of Ritsu.

Ui popped the cap off of the purified water she had retrieved from the refrigerator and handed it to Ritsu.

"Why are you here?" Azusa asked.

"I came to see you play." Ritsu replied honestly, chugging half of the bottled water in a couple of swallows.

"Is that the truth?"

"Yeah. I don't have a deep explanation for it. I was wondering how you were doing and I wanted to see you play. So I came here. That's all."

"I see." Azusa said.

The two remained quiet for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Ritsu spotted a drum kit in the corner and went to examine it. Yamaha had not manufactured this set. Ritsu grinned arrogantly. This wasn't her brand and she was not impressed. Houko had purchased a kit from a company named Tama. It would have to do. Ritsu would make it work.

"I heard you're having some problems with your drummer. There seems to be a pattern here, don't you think?"

Azusa scoffed and smiled slightly.

"Do you still want to perform tonight?" Ritsu asked.

She nodded.

"I'm a little tipsy right now, but I think I can help you out. We'd have to play our old songs, though."

"I like that. Mio's even here. She could play in my place. It'd be just like old times." Jun observed.

"Exactly." Ritsu said.

"That's an excellent idea!" Yui exclaimed.

Ui shushed her. Azusa wiped her eyes free of her tears and walked over to Ritsu.

"Do you remember how to play them?" Azusa asked.

"How could I possibly forget?" Ritsu replied.

"When was the last time you played?"

"Earlier this morning, but don't worry. That's no different from back then, is it?"

"No, it's not."

There was no mistaking the slight edge to her voice. Ritsu had said something like that once before. Her confidence could certainly be misplaced. However, she wasn't going to let that bother her.

"If it's our old songs, I'll be fine." Ritsu assured her.

"Okay." Azusa relented, leaving it at that.

Azusa shook her head and looked Ritsu over carefully.

"I don't think we have a costume in your size."

"That's fine, you could just wear your regular clothes." Ritsu said.

"True."

"Do you have a piece of paper? We need to make our playlist. We should start with the best stuff we did in high school and then end with what we came up with in college."

"Got it!" Jun declared, holding up a notebook and walking over to a spare couch with a table in front of it.

The girls crowded around the sofa. Ritsu took a pen and quickly made their playlist.

"This will go a little over thirty minutes, but I don't think anyone will care. What do you girls think?" Ritsu said.

"Don't Say Lazy as the opening, huh?" Mio said. "You just want an excuse to beat those drums in right away, don't you?"

"That's right. What's the matter? Are you not up for it?" Ritsu asked, grinning mischievously.

"I am a little nervous since I haven't played in so long, but I think I'll live." Mio said, but they could see her trembling slightly.

"Great, here's some lemon juice!" Jun said, handing her a glass of the stuff.

"Don't Say Lazy compliments the other songs on this list, except for maybe the fourth electropop one that was a bit of an unexpected hit." Ritsu exaplined.

"I like that one because I wrote it!" Yui declared.

"You wrote most of our music." Mio said.

"Oh, well that one is my favorite next to Utauyo, Miracle!"

"Geez. Same old Yui." Ritsu said.

Azusa had been looking at Ritsu the entire time, saying nothing. In her eyes, Ritsu was almost shining.

"Ritsu, you always were a good leader."

"I am?"

"Yes. I never felt like I was wasting my time when you were in charge until we blew that venue. You had that much charisma. This band needed you and you didn't seem to care. I thought I could be that person. I thought I could be better than you. That's why I left."

"I'm sorry, Azusa. I was wrong. I realize that now. I actually think about it a lot. It has come to be one of my biggest regrets." Ritsu said.

"Well. . .I forgive you."

"Thanks, Azusa."

"You're welcome, Ritsu-senpai."

It was a numbing flood of relief, just like Ritsu expected. Now she could finally let it go.

"Keep drinking water, Ritsu." Ui said.

"Right." Ritsu said, guzzling the bottled water.

"What should we tell the MC? The other band is on their second to last song. You've got less than ten minutes before you go on stage." Jun said.

"Just have them say a surprise is in store. If anything I've heard tonight is true, I'm sure they won't mind." Ritsu said.

"Please let me see your bass, Jun." Mio asked.

"Sure. It's not the same brand as yours, but it does sound pretty good. Tsumugi, Ui has a Triton. It's the exact same model you have."

"I could tell." Tsumugi said with a smile.

"Yeah, 'cause it's plastered on the front clear as day." Ritsu said.

"There's other ways." Tsumugi said, covering for Jun.

"I'll go inform the MC." Ui volunteered.

Mio and Tsumugi fiddled with their used instruments while Ui left the room. Ritsu sat down on Houko's throne and retrieved her drum sticks. The logo for After School Tea Time had not been inscribed on them. She could tell everyone was nervous.

"We'll do fine. This isn't any different from before." Ritsu said.

The members of the third band helped Ritsu carry the drum equipment out to the stage as the first band left. It was hard to see what she was doing since the lights to the stage had been unexpectedly dimmed. As Azusa came on stage, the lead singer to the first band gave her a smile.

"Good luck, Azusa-chan." the man said.

Chan? Ritsu wondered just how well they knew each other. Azusa blushed and thanked him, now dressed in the outfit she had worn when she had arrived. Ui came rushing out on the stage with a final bottle of water and a yellow headband. Ritsu cracked open the beverage and finished it off quickly. Hopefully this wouldn't backfire and leave her needing to use the restroom during their show.

"Does this have lice?" Ritsu asked.

"No, I made sure to clean it." Ui replied.

"All we need now are our old high school uniforms." Ritsu said as she put the headband on.

Ui helped her adjust her hair.

"Do you still have yours?"

"It's at my parents house. They wanted to keep it. I don't like to look at it. Too many memories, you know?"

Once they were finished, the MC stepped out on the stage. Yui spoke with him briefly. He nodded and left. Apparently she wanted to do the introduction.

"Let's hear it for the band of my good friend Azusa!" the lead singer of the first band hollered, now a member of the crowd.

They reacted appropriately. Yui stepped forward into the light and adjusted the mic.

"Hello everyone. There's been a slight change to our players this evening since Yuko has fallen ill. I don't think it will be much of a. . ."

The lights came on, revealing everyone on the stage. Ritsu squinted at the brightness and felt her breath catch in her lungs. She was really going to do this. Only now did it become evident to her. The crowd stood in stunned silence for a moment.

"Mio-senpai!" some girl in the back screamed.

That must have been someone they went to high school with. Hopefully. The audience launched into an uproar of fanfare. Similar cheers rang out for Tsumugi and Ritsu was certain she heard her name in there somewhere. This was where she belonged. This is where _they _belonged_. _Real life was so mundane. They were only in their twenties. They still had time to make it as a band. Ritsu knew this was not just for tonight. This would be their rebirth and she would do her best to make sure they made it.

"We will be playing our old songs this evening. Please bear with us!" Yui said over the noise.

Azusa looked to Ritsu first, followed by the other girls of the band. They were waiting for her signal. Her phone vibrated in her pants pocket. It had to be an E-Mail notification this time. That was too bad. Her drums were no longer for sale. Ritsu took a deep breath, popped her neck, and raised her drum sticks into the air.

"One, two, three, four!"

**NEXT TIME WITH SOME1ELSE : **A cameo preview would ruin the impact of "Kagami's story". I'll put the nonsense aside this time. In the next chapter, Kagami quickly learns a lesson that everyone who works with computers should know quite well. Her family naturally accepts her work, but will Konata be as kind?


	5. Bias

**Chapter 3 : Bias.**

"This is crap." Kagami said.

It had taken her almost six hours of labor to complete her tale in one sitting. She had stopped only when she hit a wall after Ritsu had finished taking the pictures of her drums and waited patiently to find a way through it since there was no way around, above, or under the block. Kagami sighed disdainfully and looked over what she had written. The word count revealed she was within the limit for the contest. This story was simply too realistic. Konata probably wouldn't like it for that reason. Kagami just couldn't fathom putting the girls in space playing for an audience on Titan, at the bottom of the ocean fighting killer mermaids, or on a search for the legendary Golden Drum Kit deep within the Amazon jungle. It didn't feel right to her and she wasn't willing to make such an extreme departure from the normal content of the show.

Kagami checked the clock at the bottom of her monitor. It was eight in the evening. Her family had been kind enough to leave her alone while she worked. Now that she was finished, she decided to print it off and show it to Tsukasa, who had been looking over a copy of Konata's story while she worked on her own entry for the contest. As Kagami was about to click the tiny icon with the printer on it, her screen went blank and the lights flickered. That woke up her up. Kagami jerked upright and slammed her knees into the desk, knocking over the computer speakers. She heard the hard drive click a little louder than it usually did and the computer went silent.

With a small squeak, she grabbed the monitor with both hands, somehow expecting in the deepest corner of her mind she would somehow be able to pull the story out through the screen. That obviously didn't work. This situation could have been avoided if she hadn't neglected to save the document. Her cry of anguish could be heard throughout the house.

"No, no, no, _nooooo_!" Kagami howled.

Her opinion of her story had been debatable, but now it was as precious to her as her unborn twin daughters. All that work for nothing. She definitely didn't want to have to write the same story twice from scratch. That would require a tremendous amount of exertion. What was she going to do now? Autosave. Libre Office might have discretely saved a copy for her seconds before the computer powered down. Breathing heavily, Kagami turned on the computer again and was greeted with the blue screen of death.

"Give me back my story, Windows XP!" Kagami demanded.

With a groan of frustration, Kagami booted the computer in safe mode and successfully made it to the desktop. A warning box popped up immediately. Kagami squinted and read the message it was displaying. Hard drive failure was imminent. She needed to back up all her data now and replace the hard drive at her earliest convenience, which was preferably within the next thirty minutes.

"Is the computer giving you a hard time?" her father asked.

Her nerves were sufficiently frayed and her father's unexpected concern made her jump in surprise. She spun around in the chair to face him fast enough and with a look so intense that he took a step back. Kagami nodded and went back to work while her father watched curiously. She took Inori's eight gigabyte jump drive from the top drawer of the desk and plugged it in. Libre Office took twice as long to load under the circumstances and was proud to say it had managed to save her work. Kagami almost passed out, but she knew she had to work quickly and made herself remain conscious.

The last few paragraphs were missing, but she corrected them easily.

"Is that what you were working on?" her father asked.

"Yes. I didn't lose too much. The computer said our hard drive is going to die soon. We will need to replace it. I know how to install them."

"I think it might be time to replace the whole computer. I'm tired of how slow that one is. It would be nice to have one that is faster. I've heard that it's cheaper to build your own. Do you know how to do that?" her father asked.

"We can recycle a lot of parts, but we will need a motherboard that is compatible with whatever processor you want. I don't know how to do that part, but I'm certain Konata does. She has built her last two computers and also recently made one for her cousin. Most of what I know I've actually learned from her."

"How much do you think it would cost?"

"I'm not sure. Probably somewhere between five thousand and ten thousand yen."

"Please find out for me."

"Sure. By the way, I'd like you to read something, if you have the time."

"What paper is this class for?"

Kagami finished making her edits and saved the story to Inori's jump drive.

"It's actually not for a class. Konata intends to win a contest being held by Manga Time Kirara so she can get a set of rare figurines. Her writing leaves much to be desired, so I wrote a story for us."

"I see. In other words, she made you do all the work again, didn't she?"

Her father had a point. She hadn't thought of it that way before. Was this part of a grand scheme? Even if it was, Kagami would still get paid for it if they won, so it didn't upset her very much.

"I don't know. She did seem passionate about her work." Kagami said.

"The fox is a cunning animal."

Her father didn't like Konata very much, but he respected the friendship her daughter had formed with the girl and was always polite to her when she came over to visit. However, that didn't stop him from having very strong opinions about her.

"I will take a look at your story. Put it on that fancy iPad she lent you. I'd like to try it out." he said.

"I'll have it ready in a couple of minutes." Kagami said, not bothering to correct him.

Her father nodded and left the room while she opened her E-Mail and began composing a quick letter to Konata.

_Hey, I wrote something._ _I tried to shadow you as best I could. The summary for this story is as follows. A rift occurs in the band when Azusa leaves due to Ritsu's negligence. Ritsu puts the band behind her, but discovers that it is hard to escape her destiny. Yes, it's quite dramatic. Let me know what you think. By the way, our computer is about to die and my father would like you to build a new one. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Thanks._

She attached the document to the letter and sent it off. Kagami fetched the Kindle from her room and put the story she had written on it. When Kagami loaded it on the screen, she grinned.

"It's almost like it's a part of a real book!" she said to herself.

Writing fan fiction may have indeed been at the very bottom of the barrel when it came to utilizing creativity, but Kagami could spot no apparent flaws in the story she had just made and rescued. To be a professional author, one had to be artistic and incredibly lucky. Yet to do fan fiction, all it took was a fierce desire to preserve a fandom by any means necessary. In a way, it was noble. At the same time, it was kind of sad. Kagami was aware of what she had become even if she wasn't a super fan of K-On, but she did not care. This was her work. It was better than a stupid Swedish mystery, another novel about a vampire, or the latest release of a critically acclaimed novelist who no longer had to work very hard to produce a bestseller.

She could get addicted to this.

Kagami's words were displayed with crystal clarity on the screen, each one of them unique in their own way as they did their best to convey the scene she had imagined. Fate could only determine if she would win the contest. It would also control whether or not her story gained any reviews in the sea of yuri and senseless romantic plots that most archives willing to host documents of this type were weighed down with. She was getting ahead of herself. The contest came first. Kagami slowly descended back down to Earth as her excitement waned and her twin tails injected her with a fresh shot of tsundere power.

There was no reason to be anywhere near this confident. If she looked at it long enough, she would begin spotting areas needing improvement. Nothing was perfect. In this manner, she was not quite as egotistical as many of the other amateurs in her creed. The shine diminished as the Kindle itself realized what it was processing and gagged. Kagami already didn't like how a particular sentence read. That had been super quick. Steeling herself against the urge to gut the whole paragraph as submitting to the temptation would invite a never ending barrage of constant edits, she found her father in the living room with her mother and gave him the Kindle, eager to get the story away from her and begin gaining feedback.

By the way her father held it, she could tell he was intimidated.

"How do I turn the page?" he asked.

"This big button right here." Kagami replied, pointing at it.

Her mother stifled a laugh.

"What do I do when I'm done with it?"

"I dunno. Be finished?"

"Young lady, one day your child will hand you something you will not know how to use. I regret that I will not be there to experience it with you."

"It's just that it's not really that difficult, you know?"

"Of course. I don't have to watch the show to know what's going on, do I?"

"No, this is slice of life. Getting a passport is a major plot development."

"Sounds thrilling. Let's see what you have here." he said as he began reading with her mother leaning on his shoulder to get a view of the story as well.

Her mother and father began holding hands. Kagami grimaced and left them to their healthy relationship. Printing off the story for Tsukasa proved to be a challenge. For some reason, the printer coughed out another copy of Konata's story and some other document which had been in its queue and would not respond when Kagami jammed the cancel button in a vain attempt to conserve ink and discipline the piece of junk. It then ate the paper it was trying to use to inscribe her magnum opus upon. Twice.

After resetting the device, it spit out a calibration page. Kagami was tugging at her hair so hard in aggravation her bow came lose and robbed her of her dere dere tail, upsetting the fragile balance of her personality. The printer could sense it was five seconds away from being clubbed to death with a baseball bat and produced her story, blatantly disregarding her request to make it double sided. Kagami unplugged it and didn't feel like she had won anything. As she left the room, the needle on the hard drive finally came into direct contact with the platter and screeched to a deafening halt. The monitor went blank. It had served the Hiiragi family to the best of its ability.

Kagami repaired her broken twin tail, restoring harmony to her soul once more. Tsukasa was in her room playing Othello with Inori.

"I'm finished." Kagami announced as she set the document on Tsukasa's desk.

"Okay. I'll look at it after this." Tsukasa said.

"What did you think of Konata's story?"

Her little sister was playing black and tied with Inori.

"Can I tell you the truth?" Tsukasa asked nervously.

"That bad?"

"Well, there was this one scene. . .yeah, that bad. Don't tell Konata."

"I almost feel sorry for the paper. Did you actually manage to fix that story?" Inori said.

"No, I wrote my own."

"Good thinking. I'm sure you did a much better job." Inori said.

"I don't think Konata was trying." Tsukasa said to Inori.

"Probably not. She would have fixed the beginning if that were true and I'm not sure if Bupropion is available in our country." Inori said.

"There was a hint of greatness in there. If she would have fleshed out the witch, it would have been more interesting. Any idea can be made readable." Kagami said for Konata's benefit, who was probably sneezing like mad right about now.

"True." Tsukasa said as she gained the upper hand in the desperate fight against her eldest sister.

"Be sure to take a look at it." Kagami said as she headed for her own room.

It was getting a little late. Hopefully everyone would get a chance to read it before they went to bed. Kagami took her bath so she could pass the time. She hoped they would like it, but at the same time she expected them to point out what they didn't like. There was no reason to hold back. Then again, had she not already succeeded? The story, _her _story, was fine as it was. Since the only person she truly had to answer to was herself, did that not make their opinions useless? Perhaps, but appealing to a wider audience was the goal here. What a chaotic predicament.

She resisted the urge to check and see if they were done yet and retired to her room where she found herself reading I Am a Cat by Natsume Sōseki. It was definitely better than sitting across from her readers, staring at them as they navigated her vision in their own imaginations. Her father was the first to arrive.

"Pretty good. Just what I'd expect from you." he said as he placed the Kindle on her desk and sat down in the chair to her desk.

"Is that it?" Kagami asked.

"You certainly know how to build a plot. That's key." her mother said, leaning in her doorway.

"Did you both really read it at the same time?"

They nodded. That was weird. Kagami didn't think she could wait long enough for the other person to finish the page even if they were deeply in love.

"What did you like about it?"

"Personally, it makes me want to watch the show. I know it's probably nothing like what you've written, but I find it impressive that your story has kindled my interest in something I would otherwise have avoided."

That compliment really amazed her.

"I'm glad they made up at the end. It was really sweet." her mother stated.

"That's another thing. The whole story comes together. Not like Konata's, which is a jumbled mess. Furthermore, I personally was left waiting for more at the end, which is a good thing."

"Okay. What can I do to improve?"

Her mother and father looked at each other and shrugged. Kagami scoffed.

"Come on. You can tell me." Kagami urged.

"I really don't think there's anything wrong with it. I can't think of anything I would do differently. That's a good thing. You should be happy to hear this from your number one fan." her father stated.

"I know it must be hard for you since I'm your daughter, but try to find some fault in it."

"Have Matsuri take a look at it." her father suggested.

"Tadao!" her mother chided with a grin.

Matsuri would tear it apart. Kagami would prefer some praise to go along with the destruction, but Matsuri was not very modest. If by some miracle Konata accepted the story as it was, Kagami would ask Matsuri to take a look at it.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You really worked hard on this. I think it's a very good story. I don't know if it will win the competition or not, but I'm glad you wrote it."

Kagami sighed.

"Fine, I'll take that. Thanks for reading."

Tsukasa came in shortly after her parents left and put the story beside the Kindle. Her eyes were watery.

"I think I'm going to go think about the rest of my life now. Great story, onee-chan." Tsukasa said quietly.

Kagami almost stopped her, but Tsukasa seemed greatly affected by what she had read. Besides, she did need to think about her future. Kagami wasn't always going to be there for her. She hadn't even considered the story would have caused such a reaction. Inori appeared next.

"It would be pretty interesting to see what competition this has. Well done, Kagami."

Before she could ask her for more detailed feedback, her cell phone began ringing. Konata was calling. It was time to face the music, which Kagami found rather amusing since they were talking about K-On. She closed the door to her room before answering her phone.

"What's up?" Kagami asked.

"Not much. I missed a raid tonight and it was all for you."

"I'm touched."

"I can tell. I read your story. Nice, Kagamin. Very nice. I can tell you were writing under the influence of the other authors. You want to have all of their foreign babies, don't you?"

"As if. They can probably only ask where the toilet is in our language and they're so misguided they would probably mistake a Chinese girl for a Japanese one."

"Somehow I doubt it. In any case, this story is very you. However, I feel anyone could have done it. Can you tell me what makes your story so unique?"

Kagami hadn't had time to make a proper defense for this attack, so she was stricken silent for a moment.

"Your story falls under what I like to call speculative canon. That can only happen when you're writing for a show you know is going to have a sequel. Unfortunately, once the canon has been established, your story loses its impact and its popularity. In the case of K-On, they're going to go to Budokan. That's a given. To write something where that doesn't happen is a bit counterproductive."

"Oh, and I guess you could say the same thing about those horror stories, couldn't you?" Kagami countered.

"Those are alternate universes."

"So is mine, which makes your argument weak. Continue."

She opened her closet and took a look at the Hikarizaka uniform Konata had given her since they were talking about anime. Kagami felt the material in her free hand. It looked like it would fit her perfectly, although she had never taken the time to try it on. How exactly did Konata get her measurements? Only her mother knew them. Did Konata know just by looking? That would be disturbing.

"Like I said, writing a story where they don't make it as a band is something a lot of people are going to do. There's a lot of overlap. Each story is unique, but they all sound the same, you know? It's kind of hard for me to explain."

"You would much rather I had set it in a steampunk universe."

"Now there's an idea! Hold on, let me write that one down."

Kagami could hear Konata tear open her desk and fetch a notebook.

"Nobody would expect that. If you wrote it well enough, you could have a sleeper hit or a blockbuster. I'd much rather read that than a melodrama, but that's just me. Your story reminds me of the sequence in the first season where Azusa almost quits the band. They convince her to stay. I must admit, I've always wondered what would happen if Azusa broke away from them."

"That's a bit hypocritical, Konata."

The lace ribbon Konata had entrusted her with was in the beautiful box it had been wrapped up in at the back of her closet. Kagami stood on her toes and fetched it from the back, dusting it off briefly and wandering over to her desk. She took the lid off and examined it for a bit before fetching a mirror from her drawer, putting Konata on speakerphone, and giving the ribbon a try in her hair.

"I don't think it would be very moe if that happened. In your story, all the characters act like they should, but it's missing that key feeling. I believe that will be our biggest problem with the judges, depending on who they are."

"Your story wasn't very moe either."

She did not look like Kyou Fujibayashi. Konata was just insane. She took the ribbon out of her hair and replaced it with the bows she always wore.

"Ah, but I wasn't trying very hard. To tell you the truth, I did intend to pull something like this out of you. My plan worked perfectly."

Kagami turned off the speaker phone and held the phone against her ear.

"You're lucky I might be getting paid. You owe me if we don't. By the way, are you listening to yourself? You call this criticism? I honestly expected more out of you."

"Yeah, I can't really say anything that's going to break you down like you did to me. Believe me, I wish I could. That's why I'm trying to give you a hard time here. It's not working. You've got thick skin. You'll need it. I'm not too offended, though. Even my story would have its fans."

"What makes you say that?"

"How can people like Endless Eight? How could Holo and Lawrence walk around safely after their encounter with Chloe and the members of the church? Why didn't Solid Snake shoot Liquid Snake before he jumped into the Metal Gear? The seventh episode in the first season of Strike Witches. The seventh episode in the second season of Strike Witches."

"Revolting." Kagami said, recalling the time Konata showed her what all the boys were watching.

"You will always have your fans, but you will also always have your critics."

"I guess I see your point. Shouldn't a writer be mindful that they are performing in front of an audience?"

"Yes, but who among them knows what everyone wants to read? You should try your best. That's all you can do. Despite my misgivings, it's still a decent story and I'm convinced you did better than me. I'd like for this to be our submission."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me."

"Does that ultimately mean I should ignore your complaints?"

"Yup. I'll give you three out of five, Kagamin. Why else would I want to make it our submission?"

"Because that expansion pack for your stupid game launches this week?"

"Can't get passed you, can I? I enjoyed the mild yuri between Mio and Ritsu. I believe that will earn you points. You kept them single, which is distressing, but that will also earn you points. You'll impress realists who don't like extreme settings. The ending was touching. Everything comes together and just fits. That's important. Let's hope the judges feel the same way. I think it moves a little fast, but you are working with a word count so I can ignore that. I'm sure there are those who would vehemently despise it, but even real authors have their critics. That reminds me. Since when did you have a sense of humor?"

"I do read Sergeant Frog. I enjoy funny shows."

"Where did you learn so much about alcohol?"

"Where do you think?" Kagami asked, not wanting to mention Kuroi, Matsuri, and Konata's older cousin.

"Hmm. Interesting. I'm going to send the story over tomorrow. Let's hope for the best. We should write together again sometime."

"I'll think about it."

"Oh, I took a look at how much it will be to build a new computer for you. I have some stuff lying around that I wouldn't mind giving you for free. I'd need money for a case, a processor, and a motherboard. I'm looking at something in the neighborhood of fifty thousand yen, which will include labor."

"Sounds perfect. That's what my father was hoping for."

"Excellent. I'll get the parts when he pays me."

"Anything else?"

"Nope. Well, you could bless our project since you are a pure shrine maiden."

"Come on!"

"Please?"

Kagami sighed and lowered her head.

"May our project be blessed." Kagami muttered.

"Hooray! Now we're sure to win!"

**NEXT TIME WITH RENA RYUGU (HIGURASHI) : **Hiiragi, do you not see what a poor friend Konata is? She is quite manipulative. Why is it that all of your friends constantly take advantage of you? How come you must constantly prove your worth to your parents and look after your little sister, who is nothing more than a leech? It's a curse, Hiiragi. Do you think being a shrine maiden makes you immune to such things? I'm sure a girl from Saitama has never heard of Oyashiro, but that does matter. You have been marked. The only way to free yourself is to bleed until nothing no longer matters. Don't be afraid. After a while, it will stop hurting.

Whoops, sorry about that! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! It just kind of happens. How embarrassing! Anyway, in the next chapter we will see the results of the contest. Will that be enough to satisfy Konata's thirst for free anime goods? Will it? Well, we'll just have to wait and see.


	6. Effort and Results

**Chapter 4 : Effort and Results.**

"This is going to be the longest day of my life." Konata said woefully as she met Tsukasa and Kagami in front of their school.

Konata looked relatively more haggard than usual this morning. Without having to ask, Kagami knew Konata had been so excited she couldn't get to sleep. Hoping to catch an early surprise delivery, she had spent the whole night exploring the new areas of her MMORPG. It was a distressing sight.

"Why couldn't this have happened over Golden Week? Do they know what they're putting young otaku's through?"

"I take it nobody has gotten the package yet?" Kagami asked.

"No, but there's plenty of trolls all over 2Chan. Some people are saying they have the package but they can't afford a digital camera to take a picture of it and show everyone. They just might be telling the truth."

"Can't you go to the store and buy the regular edition and see if you won?" Tsukasa asked.

"Good idea. It doesn't come out for another week. No stores have it and there hasn't been a leak."

"This is a very minor inconvenience." Kagami reminded Konata.

"Speaking of which, I've got your new computer assembled. Yutaka helped. I think you'll be happy with it. Yui-neesan will be its police escort."

"Great, I can't wait to see it." Kagami said.

Apparently Yutaka had given the case a custom design. Konata had dropped her old graphics card into it at no extra charge, which was strong enough to run all modern games. Her new card had four gigabytes of memory instead instead of two. At this point it was overkill, but eventually it would come in handy. The processor clocked in at 4.0 gigahertz and possessed six cores. Though that was more than enough to dominate the Hiiragi family, she had still overclocked it. Five gigabytes of RAM in the motherboard meant it would never have problems multitasking. The hard drive the OS rested on was solid state, which would eliminate any bottlenecks, and could hold three hundred gigabytes. The second hard drive was magnetic and could hold a terabyte. If Konata had more money to work with, she would have cooled it with water just to be fancy.

Konata had once heard the phrase everything in moderation, but only once. A Blu-ray burner, modular power supply, and a free HDMI cable were miscellaneous extras. Kagami suspected Konata might have been generous and spent some of her own money on the case just so she could build a raging beast.

"You two wanna hang out later?"

"What, and watch you run around your front yard until you collapse from exhaustion?" Kagami asked.

"Got anything better to do tonight?"

"It is Friday. How about we catch a movie and go glow bowling _after _we're done studying?"

"Kagamin, you know I can't leave the house this evening. If they take my package back to the warehouse and I try and break in tonight, Yui-neesan is going to have to choose between her family and her profession."

"Fine. I'll come over."

"Me too."

"Great. Time for the gauntlet." Konata said, heading into the school.

The gauntlet, as Konata so eloquently put it, was less challenging than usual. Kagami had to make sure she didn't start daydreaming about how she was going to spend the money if they won. Her impulsive side was tempting, but Kagami chose to ignore it since her logical side said to save it for her very own Kindle. She was over broken spines caused by how aggressively she read and she hated how some covers dug uncomfortably into the space between her thumb and forefinger. Kagami would save the cash and avoid taking a trip into town over the weekend. If she could make it to Monday without spending the money, she would win.

During lunch, she took a few minutes to pull a small folder from her briefcase. Kagami had begun making notes for a few ideas which had occurred to her after completing Tempo. One was original and would probably become the novel she tinkered with, but never finished. In order to be noticed, she was trying to combine two very unlikely genres into a feasible story. There were also a few notes for future fan fics should her previous venture with them prove lucrative. She would need to get around to asking Tamura for sponsorship in a way which conveyed disinterest so as not to embarrass herself.

Eventually the day came to an end. A quick trip home was required. Konata's father was a delicate individual and knowing there were two girls dressed in their sailor uniforms wandering around his house was far too much stimulation for him. This also gave Kagami an hour to study by herself where she could actually retain the facts she memorized. Yui had already dropped their new computer off while they were at school. The black case had a lovely cherry blossom pattern on the left side of the black case and looked as though a handful of them had been blown in the wind. Yutaka had done an excellent job. Yui said that since her family looked after a shrine, it only seemed natural.

Tsukasa found herself captivated by Chime, one of the games Konata had sent them on Kagami's new Steam account. Before heading out, Kagami texted Konata and asked if the grand prize winner had revealed themselves yet since 2Chan was not a place she ever ventured into. Negative. She reluctantly packed up the Kindle and took Tsukasa with her. On the way, she wondered how long this was going to take. It was getting a little late. She should have checked to see when their courier stopped making deliveries.

Her phone vibrated as someone sent her another message when they reached the station in Konata's neighborhood. Tsukasa took hers out as well. They had both been sent a picture by Patricia, who had recently acquired an outfit from Toyosato Elementary. A headband and some golden contacts were all she needed to dress herself up as a startling rendition of Ritsu. In the second picture she sent, she was holding a crowbar in one hand, two fake eyes in the other, and grinning in a rather unsettling manner. Kagami found this so morbidly amusing she didn't bother pointing out that Patricia had used an important particle incorrectly in her message. She asked Patricia to E-Mail her a better copy of that particular photo. Tsukasa didn't get it since she wasn't able to make it very far in the K-On horror stories stored on the Kindle.

When they reached Konata's street, a delivery truck drove past them and stopped at the end of the block. They watched as Konata bolted out of the front door holding a wireless Playstation 3 controller, tripped over herself, and scrambled forward to receive the large package from the bewildered postal worker. Her father came rushing out right behind her and Yutaka walked outside to see what exactly was going on. Konata danced with the package all the way back into her house, stopping once to wave at the Hiiragi twins. Kagami and Tsukasa bowed politely and apologized to the confused gentlemen before heading into Konata's house.

"Sorry to. . ." Kagami began as she took off her shoes.

"Shrine maidens are always welcome in my home! Get in here!" Konata demanded.

Yutaka was getting a camcorder ready in the living room where the box sat like the Ark of the Covenant on top of their coffee table. Konata's father was double checking the label of the package with a perplexed look on his face while Yutaka adjusted lighting and Konata tore through the house in search of scissors. Unable to locate a pair, she emerged from the kitchen with a butcher knife. Tsukasa took a step back.

"I knew you would eventually resort to yandere." Kagami observed.

"I'm gonna take you home, Kagamin."

Konata opened the package very carefully while Yutaka filmed her unboxing ceremony. She delicately pulled back the cardboard flaps and gazed at the contents within. A letter with congratulations written very clearly was the first thing she unveiled. Konata passed out, hitting the floor with a very loud thud. It didn't look like she was faking at all. Kagami had underestimated just how badly she wanted these rare figurines. Everyone gasped, but Yutaka was the first person to react.

"Hold on, I know what to do." Yutaka said as she placed the camera strategically inside their entertainment center.

Yutaka straightened her cousins body out and raised her legs so they were resting on the coffee table. Konata's feet looked positively ridiculous dangling in the air covered by black socks. Her skin was getting a little pale. The camcorder was positioned in such a way it was capturing the entire scene.

"Ojisan, would you please get something sweet and a glass of. . ."

Konata's father already had what was needed. Nobody had seen him move.

"Water." Yutaka finished.

"How very dramatic." Kagami whispered to Tsukasa, who snickered.

"She's so hardcore." Tsukasa replied.

Yutaka tapped at Konata's cheek softly, gently coaxing her back to consciousness. Konata came around sluggishly. Her father and Yutaka carefully helped her sit up straight.

"Where am I? What happened? Why are the Fujibayashi twins hanging out with Kamina?" Konata asked.

"You're seeing things. Konata, it's your cousin. Yutaka Kobayakawa. You're at home. You got so excited that you fainted."

"Whoa!" Konata yelled, jerking forward too sharply.

Her father and Yutaka restrained her so she wouldn't faint again. Konata was looking at a spot in their couch with intense interest.

"What's wrong?" Kagami asked, a little concerned.

Unbeknownst to any of them, Konata saw a distinct image of her mother on the couch. It was fixed, so it didn't move. Yet it was there, more real than anything else had ever been to her. She should have been more alarmed, but she felt at peace. The image of her mother disintegrated right before her eyes and the blurriness of her living room corrected itself. She became aware of how fast her heart was beating and clutched absently at her chest, feeling the warmth of her hand meld with the sudden warmth of her body.

"It's nothing. Wow, what a rush." Konata said.

Konata carefully opened the congratulatory envelope, quite experienced with making containers seem as if they had never been disturbed. Inside was a brief note from the judges explaining why her entry had won. Essentially it had been what they were looking for, which was fairly obvious. A picture of the noticeably more mature band all together at the club was also included.

"Hey, this is interesting. Take a look." Konata said as she handed the image to Kagami.

Kagami was absolutely shocked Kakifly had actually drawn a scene from the story. That hadn't been in the list of goodies the winner would acquire. Each seiyuu and Kakifly himself had signed the back of the image. This would need to be framed. Konata found the check next, which she casually laid to the side. Konata peered inside the envelope to make sure she had gotten everything and then went back to the box.

A copy of the new issue was there. The drama CD featuring a modified version of the story was inside. Konata didn't bother flipping through the magazine and set it next to the contents of the envelope. What she was looking for was at the bottom of the box buried in peanuts. Konata couldn't suppress her giggling as she pulled out a beautiful figure of Azusa Nakano sculpted by Alter. Konata's father read the letter while she continued playing with the box. Kagami looked a bit worried. He was going to find out she had participated in this. Didn't she want to avoid that?

"Hey, this is for that K-On thing! Konata, you actually won first place?! That's amazing!"

"Actually, Kagami wrote a story for me. I put our names on it. She gets the money. I get the figures." Konata explained as she modeled each item for the camera Yutaka was holding so that there would be no doubt that she had won.

"That's what I was hoping to do. It placed third!"

"You wrote something for this contest?" Kagami asked.

"Yeah, I figured Konata would really want those figures, so I gave it my best shot."

"What was your story about?" Tsukasa asked.

"I wanted to go for something totally out there and amazing. I cyberpunked it!"

"How could you possibly cyberpunk K-On?" Kagami asked.

"They have to prove traditional instruments are better than instruments that play themselves in a world set in the not too distant future where auto-tuning has replaced creativity to the point where anyone can make any kind of song sound good and idols have become slaves to their music, existing only as sex symbols." Sojiro explained dramatically.

Kagami and Tsukasa exchanged a look of absolute shock.

"That. . .that actually sounds very interesting." Kagami said, knowing better than to praise him.

"Really?" Sojiro asked, a lecherous grin spreading across his face.

"Otosan, your approach has failed. Don't hunch over when you talk to younger women. Look her directly in the eye. Make her want to talk to you."

Sojiro stood up so straight his back popped.

"Kagami, I would be honored to read your story. Might I persuade you to read mine as well?"

"Sure, why not?" Kagami said reluctantly, sensing the intent Sojiro was doing a poor job of hiding.

"I'll go get it right now! You can read it whenever you like!"

Kagami picked up the magazine and flipped to where her story had been published. The reality of the situation did not dawn upon her until she saw her work towards the end of the issue. It amazed her they had published something like this. Her story did not portray the series in its usual light. If this were an actual episode, most of the audience might revolt. Then again, perhaps she was not giving herself enough credit. This had won. That meant all the other stories failed to impress the judges to the degree her story did. She would need to check that archive this week and take a look at the stories that didn't win, Sojiro's included.

The new chapters of the manga were included. Kagami paged through them while Konata wrapped up her film. New characters were introduced and it made Kagami wish she would have had the gift of foresight. Readers going from the manga to her story would receive quite a jolt. At least the ending had been a happy one. Kagami briefly considered having Ritsu go through a bunch of potential buyers until she finally decided selling the drums was not such a good idea after all. Then she figured it might be nice if Ritsu gave them away for free to a little girl that reminded her of herself. The reunion with Azusa had come out of nowhere, seemingly writing itself as if the story was merely using her as a means to find a way into her world.

Konata set the camera down for a moment. She picked up the envelope with the check inside and presented it to Kagami as if she were handing a katana to a daimyo, using both of her hands to let the envelope lay flat in her palms as she knelt down on her knees. Kagami played along and accepted it eloquently, popping the check out of the envelope before sheathing it and placing it against her side.

"I'm going to go make 2Chan mad after I edit the part where I pass out." Konata announced, retrieving the camera and heading up to her room.

Sojiro intercepted them and thrust a copy of his story right in Kagami's face. She recoiled and accepted it, being very careful not to touch his hands, which was somewhat difficult due to how he was holding the story. Kagami waited until she was in Konata's room to fold it and set it aside for the time being even though she knew Sojiro would prefer she read it right that instant. It did not take Konata long to prepare the video clip and while she did so Kagami entertained herself with the Kindle while she still had a chance and Tsukasa played around with a 3DS.

"I think I'm an internet celebrity." Konata said as she kept refreshing the page to see all the hate she was getting.

"Yeah, you're welcome. By the way, could you go to Kirara's website? I want to see who I went up against."

"I don't think they have updated yet, but I'll look."

"Oh, right. If they had done that, you would have known in advance if we had won or not." Kagami said.

"Wow, it looks like they did. That delivery guy must know somebody important." Konata said.

Konata did some navigating to get to the page that highlighted the top three entries.

"There's yours. There's dad's. And the first loser is. . .N-Oh. Set during the end of the warring states period, the girls put together a humorous musical demonstrating how pointless war is to prevent a devastating conflict between two opposing clans and improve public opinion of those in the performing arts at the time." Konata read.

"Noh. N-Oh. Yikes."

"Wordplay is so much fun."

"That story sounds better than mine."

"Key word. Sounds. I have to admit, this really surprises me. My guess is that they were deliberately looking for something different. In this issue, we get to see the girls going to college. As we both know, that doesn't usually happen. In the magazine, the manga comes before the story. The reader is set up for something new and different, so a zany beach adventure probably wasn't going to cut it."

"I see. That does make sense."

"Exactly. This is the one time outside of a convention that this can happen. It's a good thing. In any case, I think we should definitely do something like this again sometime. What do you say, Kagamin?"

"Maybe. It depends on what it is."

"I'll hold you to that."

**X**

The meek peasants of their school followed Konata around like she was a queen the following Monday. Kagami wondered why none of them would give her any credit. Perhaps they believed she had not played a vital part in the whole ordeal because they could not imagine her doing so. Or maybe she did indeed look rather scary and difficult to approach, just as Konata had once said. At the same time, she could do without the attention from the otaku's. It was indeed a shame those afflicted with any type of mania were usually less attractive than normal people who invested their time in more productive areas. Wanting attention and then not wanting attention. Kagami grinned in spite of herself. Sometimes being a woman was tough. No wonder people said they were like cats.

Lunch time rolled around and Kagami made her way to Konata's classroom. She was stopped in the hallway along the way by Kuroi, who was holding a copy of the fabled magazine that had seen far too many hands today.

"How much of this is you and how much of this is her?" Kuroi asked, quite interested.

Kagami smirked. Kuroi had been wise enough to notice.

"It was all me."

"I thought so. Did she even write a story for this?"

"Yeah. Do you want to see it?"

Kuroi thought about that for a moment.

"Nah, I think I'll pass. Don't tell her that, though."

"You got it."

Kagami continued on her way to Konata's classroom. A strong sense of déjà vu came over her followed by a feeling of dread in her stomach which erased her hunger. The premonition followed. Konata was waiting for her. Somehow, Kagami was being drawn to her. She had something else in mind. Kagami turned to walk back to her classroom, but she couldn't. What if she was wrong? No, there was no mistaking her intuition. Though she knew better and wished she could sense these things beforehand all the time, she continued forward, if only to protect her sister from whatever Konata was scheming this time.

It looked as though Patricia and Tamura would be joining them for lunch today. Tamura had one of her many sketchbooks with her and the entire group of girls were fawning over what they saw inside. The moment she put one foot inside the classroom Konata's ahoge wiggled and she looked toward the entrance on the right side of the room to see Kagami make her appearance.

"Hello, Kagamin!"

That tone again. Kagami noticed Patty had those fake eyeballs with her and was using them as chime balls. Konata energetically beckoned her to hurry up and come over. Kagami took her time, waving at some people she knew. Konata had almost torn the top half of her desk off by the time Kagami finally took her seat, adjusting her skirt so there were no creases.

"Remember how the other day you said you would help me with contests again and stuff?" Konata asked, quite animated.

She hadn't quite said it like that, but there was no sense in arguing with Konata. Instead, Kagami would tease.

"How has your day been, Tsukasa?" Kagami asked instead.

"I'm doing okay." Tsukasa replied honestly.

"What about you, Miyuki?"

"I am doing rather well. Congratulations on winning the contest."

"Why, thank you. Patricia, how did your American friend do?"

"As I'm sure you know, he didn't even place. I warned him his story may have been a little too extreme." she replied, her accent as noticeable as ever.

"What was it about?"

"Ritsu going nuts."

"Is this the same guy that wrote Waltz?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't tie into that story like I hoped it would. How did you guess?"

"Your cosplay. How old is this guy? Do you know?"

"Nope. He doesn't talk that much about himself."

"Speaking of cosplay, there's something I would like to discuss with you, Kagami!" Konata interjected rather loudly.

"How many times do I have to tell you I do not look like Kyou?" Kagami demanded, finally giving Konata the attention she sought.

"You could never convince me otherwise, but that is besides the point! Have a look at this!"

Konata presented a regular piece of paper to Kagami. It was a picture of her dressed up in the outfit Section Nine wore when they were out in the field. She could tell this was done by Tamura and it appeared to be a relatively quick doodle.

"We were talking about cosplay and everyone began wondering who you could dress up as. Since you aren't interested in portraying Miku Hatsune or Rin from Fate Stay Night, I came up with that concept instead based on your personal taste." Tamura said.

"See? You're not acting like another character. In this outfit, you are your own character! You, Kagami Hiiragi, _are_ a _member_ of Section Nine! If you placed first I think it just might be enough to convince Production I.G. to do a third season!" Konata said.

"Give me a break! My hair is so outside of regulations that it's not even funny." Kagami said.

"People aren't going to be looking at your hair, Kagamin." Konata said with a wink.

"No, I won't do this!"

"But the person who wins the contest will get an autographed poster of Nichijou."

"Konata, you have absolutely no taste in anime." Kagami said with a great degree of finality.

"Shonen Ace is running this contest. You have to have your photos taken professionally. It just so happens Patricia is pretty good with photography and you know what it takes to impress me. Tamura is a Photoshop guru and Miyuki's uncle has a set we can use!" Konata said.

"Where are you going to get this kind of outfit?" Kagami demanded.

"No problem! My brother can help us with that!" Tamura replied.

"If you want money, I'll pay you to do this. Please, Kagamin. I really want that poster and you would look positively gorgeous. Besides, I thought you liked that anime!"

"Do not pull that into this."

"I'll let you get to pick the gun you get to hold." Konata offered.

"Oh, then in that case I'll do it." Kagami said sarcastically.

"Might I recommend the airsoft version of the SCAR-H?" Patricia ventured.

Kagami sighed in defeat. Konata perked up eagerly, knowing she had a strong foothold.

"What do you think, Tsukasa?" Kagami asked.

"I believe it could be really fun." Tsukasa replied.

In the best interest of making as many memories as possible before they finally went their separate ways, her answer was rather obvious. Kagami was a sucker for peer pressure. It did sound fun. However, it was more than a little embarrassing and she believed her father was going to start worrying about her sooner or later if she kept this up. Ritsu's regrets suddenly came to her. Why should she restrain herself? Everyone was looking at her so eagerly except for Tsukasa, who would undoubtedly serve as her support during the shoot.

Kagami made her decision.

"Fine." she said reluctantly.

Real life wasn't that far off. As everyone cheered for her, Kagami felt somewhat relieved as she realized something. As an adult, memories like this would be needed to remind her of what she was capable of. In the midst of stress, debt, and other obligations, moments like this would keep her going and remind her that she was able to do anything when all else seemed lost.

And she had Konata to thank for that.

Though they had their differences, it was indeed a fortunate thing they were friends.

"What are her measurements?" Tamura asked,

"Eighty two, sixty four, eighty six." Konata said a little too loud.

Kagami turned bright red with embarrassment and began to rethink her opinion of Konata. Tamura scribbled down the data. Though they were only centimeters, they still sounded humongous.

"And her weight?"

"One ten before New Year's Break, one fifth-teen afterwards for three weeks." Konata replied quickly.

"That's enough!" Kagami shouted.


End file.
